Saturday, March 29

Neutral Mask

The first term of my Alexander Technique teacher training ended today after a five day residential course. Our schohttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifol went to the Maitripa comtemplative centre in Healsville, a buddhist retreat in a beautiful part of the Upper Yarra Valley.

No TV, radio, mobile phone or internet disturbed the calming effect of the surroundings, and Paul Hampton, actor and Alexander teacher, presented the theme of this residential: the Neutral Mask.

David, Jenny, Penny McDonald, Ria and Margaret made up the teaching crew, and besides Jose every student came for at least some of the time to Healsville. The first day started with a nice lunch and the Neutral Mask. Paul brought a bunch of white masks, the eyes slightly downward slanted, the mouth a little bit less smiling than on the linked photo.

The mask does not know anything, wondering about everything and saying yes to everything. The mask lives in an imaginary world, aware of an all surrounding horizon, moving its view around with its head and not its eyes. The mask does whatever it want to do, however, it does not speak and does not explore its body. One can only see the mask when it faces the audience.

Paul instructed the participants into the characteristics of the mask, and how to handle the transition of oneself into the Neutral Mask. You treat the physical mask with respect, never put it face down, never poke your fingers through its eyes. You stand facing a wall, have a good look at the face you will put on in some seconds, take the rubber band around the back of the head, slide it slowly down onto your face and make it sit comfortable.

We started with all of us wearing a mask, and walking through the room, getting a first impression how it feels to wear it, breathing mainly through our mouths as hardly any air passed through the tiny holes of the nostrils.

Then we played some setting through, with three or four masks playing in the same imaginary setting. Have we seen the mask? I enjoyed both observing and wearing the mask. The settings became more complex from day to day, from involving objects to doing hands on partner work on the last.

I hope to find a source for some decent Neutral Mask, best with androgynous features. Using the mask on workshops looks like a promising idea for AT group work and even introductions into the principles.

Thursday, March 20

Brazil

My turn with Penny had some surprising elements, yet she manages to have similar "watery" qualities in her hands even outside the pool. I get further and further away from my idea of standing when doing chair work. I felt quite light after the turn, and enjoyed it while walking around.

We worked a lot with whispered and sounded "aaah", something I neglected a bit myself. Having hands on while Stephen and Jenny did this offered new insights - while I can notice holding easily, doing this activity directed just produces a decent muscular tone and allows the vibrations of sound travel to the back of the body.

While singing about old Brazil I realised the amount of tension I hold around the jaw, I still need to mentally integrate the jaw into the neck. I achieved the best results while dancing with Penny, sometimes an overload of stimuli helps doing less.

Wednesday, March 19

Group work

My turn with Duncan turned out a bit confrontational. I felt like reducing the amount of stimuli by doing table work, yet he went down a different road. I went into the typical twist - wanting to answer his questions (probably with tensed neck and shoulders), while having to life with him stopping me from doing so.

I feel pretty much drained at the end of my first term, though I look forward to the residential, without knowing how this total immersion will work out. Although I like the idea of "quickening the mind" (in FM's words), I fail to see this happening to a larger extend with my fellow students.

I had some lengthy conversation with Bo, trying to tie AT principles into the chat about the use of digital cameras. The communicative aspect of the work appears much easier at the moment to me than observation and hands-on, although it challenges me a lot (especially to keep my directions while doing so).

Libby's group work really made my day. We played with resistance, assistance and neutral while doing chair work. Even though I didn't manage to sense the level of connectedness with Jane and Jen, the I distinguished the quality of movement in the different modes. Especially availability feels very distinct from resistance and assistance.

Working with Gen and Cal felt easy, probably as they direct themselves already very good. I realised that thinking directions helps connecting, yet moving people involves an activity. I need to find the fine line between directing while moving and pushing. I enjoyed the partner work with Cal a lot - she gives very precise feedback, and directs herself very good, which makes it easy for me to stay in my body while working with her.

Ann had her group of year 2 students preparing some group work, which we tried with everyone. I couldn't resist to play devil's advocate, yet I realised that not everyone takes criticism as feedback. Kaz, having his doubts about AT at the moment, provided the most fun way to do group work, using the snap gard came to demonstrate the principle of inhibition.

Undoing oneself doesn't come easy, and the perception of one's identity, or ego, stands mostly in the way. On a mental level, the ego prevents most people from changing their habits of thinking, and working on this opens a difficult battlefield.

Tuesday, March 18

Biking

I need to learn to trust the body mechanics again. During my turn with Bronwyn I managed to walk in a natural way, falling forward and letting my legs swing to keep me going. I like working with her a lot, following the directions for specific parts of the body, although I'm still tempted to "feel it out" occasionally. The idea of directing my tail to keep my back back help a lot.

The group work was a lot about observation, as my bike still needs fixing and we watched how Ineke, Simon and Stephen rode their bikes. Having more 600 muscles means plenty of opportunity to use more than required, and identifying misuse helps giving a student information how to direct and what to inhibit.

In Jenny's group we put our hands on the back of a chair, and even without the strong stimulus of a human body it challenged me a lot. I embarked on a long journey, and have to inhibit the temptation to try hard. Continuos practice, without to much care about the result, will improve the sensitivity to a usable state.

Monday, March 17

More Yoga

While having a turn with John I noticed that my hips still don't move too much. The idea of letting "my tail down", however, helps preventing the shortening of the lumbar region. Although I know now more about the roundness of my shoulders, and that my arms are attached to
the front of the body, I still to manage to shorten myself laterally.

Even though we just went through 4 or 5 postures in the yoga session, it felt a lot like a workout. The difference between just copying the postures somehow, and staying directed while doing them does not fail to amaze me once again.

During the second group session we talked about Kaz' frustration, possibly due to the lack of explanation why AT works at all. Jenny, as a virgo, does not think that "energy systems" are involved, but has no problem working with people who do think so.

Friday, March 14

Shoulders

Today's turn with Jenny brought some more light in my understanding of knees and shoulders. The groups dwelled on the topic of shoulders as well, as we tried in partnerwork to find out how much the shoulders get involved when moving the arms.

The idea of length poses not too much of a problem for me, but I still tend to shorten the width of my trunk. However, the perception of my body becomes more three-dimensional and less fragmented.

Thursday, March 13

Put your hands up

I woke up today to the sound of bad news - Mark F died in a diving accident on Monday. The first link I forged to this country has left this planet, and it hardly evoked emotions in me. Or rather, I hardly noticed any.

So I chose table work when having my turn with Margaret, and the thoughts about Mark's death went to the background for a while. While observing the other teachers, Kaz asked me to do some chair work with him. The connection with his hands worked really well, the movement felt a bit unsynchronised.

We observed another victim lying in semi-supine trying to make sounds as group work. Only practice enables me to know where to look - although some pattern look similar, everyone combines a multitude of minor misuse into an individual pattern.

The same things happened during the performance session. We could easily observe the effect of monitoring, and its detrimental influence to our performance. Checking one's own use needs practice, and the time required can decrease, once it becomes a habit. However, without presence the performance can not convince.

Wednesday, March 12

Group meeting

I like the challenges Jeremy gave me during the turn, as it creates more the impression of progress than doing chair work for the hundred first time. I still don't include my jaw always in the neck, time will help. We looked at Bo's cycling as group work, having the bike mounted on some clever gear.

The group meeting felt stranger than I expected. The difference in experience resulted in hardly any agreement among all of us, as note taker I had to refrain myself from dominating the round.

Tuesday, March 11

Hangover

The gogo juice kept me awake for a long time, I felt a bit sleepless when I had the turn with David. The queazyness prevented me from trying too hard, yet I could still feel my serratus posterior inferior. The way I stand seems to change daily, I can feel the weight more clearly in heel, balls, side and toes. Maria did some table work with me, with very subtle effects.

This weeks reading was less controversal, although I still wonder a bit about a confrontational approach to "mental rigidity". Bronwyn reminded me of the consentual aspect of the learning process....

In the group work we sensed each other backs, and my hands felt hardly anything. My observation and sensation need plenty of improvement.

Friday, March 7

Walking up

I was working with David and a chair in my turn. Although I managed to move with releative ease there were still some unsynchronized movements. When I had to walk I caught the impulse to rock back after Davids hand left my neck. The second time I managed to inhibit this impulse to tried to get used to the sensation of falling forward, and David could see more "up" in me.

The group work with Matt felt quite physical, monkeys in all variations. I got some sore spot on my back today, reshaping my shoulders seems a bit painful.

Thursday, March 6

Ease

Working with Jane turned out to be fun, and she managed to give me a lot information while working on the chair. I tried to inhibit my head back, shoulder up pattern while speaking, and noticed the preparatory actions before I was speaking. I'm less confused by non-local effects any more, but rather cherish the opportunity to recalibrate my proprioception.

On the table Jane and I managed significant release of the shoulders, knowing more about the structure of this area helps a lot. I still need to develop a decent sensation of width throughout my trunk in a lengthened state.

Anne worked with me straight after Jane, and surprised me a bit when she asked to have an AID AT T-shirt. I might have found a first ally to use more of the internet.

Singing gets a bit easier, I manage my level of apprehension better. I chose a different song, and Cal noticed the different pattern between speaking and singing with me. Jenny needed less extreme movements to keep me on track, and glimpsed my self during the performance.

Wednesday, March 5

Inhibition

I tried to spruik the wiki today, with minor sucess. Anne, Kate and Duncan noticed the t-shirt, but I still like David to recognise and use the mailing list and spread the word. End gaining? Hard to say, I feel more like I inhibited myself a lot.

I had turns with Duncan and Ferry today. I worked with Duncan and the impulse to fix myself in standing. Ferry worked with me while I was sitting and reading, exploring the shoulder blades kinaestetically and mentally.

Anne gave an introduction to group work, including the P'ching short cut. The playful and unjudgemental approach of the pair work made some basic principles of the work tangible.

Tuesday, March 4

Conscious control

I like having turn with Jenny, her gentle hands seem to connect easily, and she provides me with lots of tactile information. However, talking to her about the emotional aspect of the self and our work left as curious as before.

I did some table work with Maria after that. I understand the way my shoulders work better now, and notice more of the deeper layers of muscles coming back to life (and into my awareness). And I manage to layer more directions together, intent does the trick. She explained to me convincingly that the jaw belongs to the neck, so I should include it in the direction "neck free".

I still haven't plugged the Aid-AT wiki, somehow I inhibited myself from talking about it today. T-shirt communication will make that inevitable tomorrow. The discussion about "Applying conscious control" went into biscuit and chocolate addiction.

Monday, March 3

Shoulders

I had half a turn with David and a full one with Ria. I talked shortly with her about my emotional confusion, but I'm not too sure if I took her answer on board. I cannot get out the way I came in.

Lailani explained the shoulder a bit more, and I could experiment to direct Ria, while playing with the mobility of the arm. Learning details about the anatomy of shoulder and arm certainly helps me calibrating my sensations in this area. I felt the roundness of the shoulder blade, and its movements while the arm moved.