Wednesday, April 28

Challenges

Without David, and with one teacher less than planned for, the day started a bit disorganised. Libby got a bit upset, which luckily didn't affect the quality of her hands while giving me a turn. Using AT, she regained her calm, and prevented getting overwhelmed by the challenge to improvise the daily program.

During the presentation of Frank Pierce Jones research I had the opportunity to stay directed, although I wanted to react a lot to one students disruptive behaviour during the start of my part. I slowed down, refocused on my notes, yet had no idea about my use for the rest of my presentation.

However, when Martin asked me about my plans after graduation, I noticed how much this topic can discoordinate myself. Applying the technique to my tendency to get the blues has changed me, yet it's hard to call this an improvement. I noticed how much effort it takes to ignore depressive episodes, and how well established the neural pathways to pull me down are. From the perspective of 'befriending myself' this is valuable, yet not pleasant information. Developing a sense of self-worth in a life situation where I'm not 'worthy' enough to stay in the country of my liking, challenges me maybe above my capacity.

If anything, I learned that not putting hands on today made it tougher to stay directed. I recognise more triggers of my habits, yet I'm rather craving for more 'uptime' than material to analyse.

Tuesday, April 27

Change in routine

David informed me via email that I had to go to the Body-Mind Centre instead of the school in Fitzroy, so I took the opportunity for an adrenaline-laden unicycle ride to the CBD. Although I walked most of the last part, Jenny noticed at the start of my turn that my legs were still pedalling. It seems like quite a habit to pull myself down in a lot of interactions, especially in talking. It's still difficult to remind myself of the directions before acting, and feels a bit odd. Nevertheless, I manage much better my habitual response to 'feeling wrong', and allowing myself to integrate certain levels of discomfort without actively ignoring them.

I noticed as well that my hands work more in a 'teaching' way, yet only while I take of myself to a decent degree. I got more patient with myself, and when no movement happens, I rather renew my directions and explicitly release arms and shoulders a bit more. I worked a lot with Stephen today. It was great to experiment a lot, both of us knowing to expect little and helping each other to stay present.

We discussed the chapter of CCCI in which FM describes the procedure to put hands on the back of the chair, perfectly suited to go through this as practical part of our group work. One of the pseudo-hinges along my spine became very discomforted during the process. I wonder whether I was trying too hard, or activated some underused part of muscles around and of the trapezius. It seems to be the part from which I pull my shoulders in place, and potentially bend the spine back (or even to one side) at the same time.

While during some earlier table turns 'non-local' effects (release happening far away from a teacher's hands) provided me with a rather distracting stimulus, I integrate more of the whole body into this kind of sensations now. While Sharon gave me a turn, I noticed a lot of up coming from my feet. Her hands prevented me from pulling down to 'feel out' what was happening, instead I stayed with the nice sensation in my legs and Sharons hands on my head. My limbs can still connect a bit better into this awareness. At least I know now much better what I'm doing with parts of my body, without 'sinking' into them at the same time.

I'd still call my whole-body-image quite hazy, yet it is definitely less fragmented and gets more familiar. I got now a better idea when I'm grounded. I'm sure some experiences on the unicycle had a 'skyhooked' quality. The next step will be to become more centered / aware of my center, connecting heaven and earth. Or so.

Sunday, April 18

A sculpture per day keeps the blues away

Since I managed to have sufficient amounts of building material around, I feel a daily urge to build something new. During the Easter break I explored a variety of spherical shapes, after successfully constructing a bucky-ball out of 90 struts. I spend some time to paint 30 of them black, they now point to the 12 pentagons of the structure.

I realised that most spheres can be constructed by chiral twisting of all edges ending in each vertex, thereby stellating it. The cube's eight vertices nicely triangulate, the stellated octahedron opens into squares. Let's go through the shapes I build so far. Tensul, x-module, stellated tetrahedron, icosahedron, prism, cube, octahedron, dodecahedron as sphere and as 10 strut tensegrity, vector equilibrium, truncated icosahedron (the bucky ball with 90 struts), icosahedral sphere (frequ.

So I went through all five Platonic 'solids' which as tensegrity unveil their spacious, airy qualities. I still try to get my head around the fact that the dodecahedron is the dual of the icosahedron, and what kind of truncation of the icosahedron constitutes the typical 30 strut sphere. Yet the actual geometry is still of second concern, although I notice how much embodied knowledge of this archetypal geometrical shapes I acquired.

The increasing size of projects made the craft aspect of this infatuation of mine more apparent. Preparing struts and strings usually takes much more time than actual assembly, and precision simplifies it, while lack of it might make assembly impossible. And while I at first started off very end-gaining, concerned about spectacular results, I begin to enjoy the sensual aspect much more. Finding more efficient ways to process individual yet similar pieces of bamboo, cutting it to length, smoothening the cut marks and sawing small groove with similar depth, cutting and knotting strings or elastic cord to similar length, became an opportunity to observe myself in activity.

When I succeeded more often in having a feel for the construction of structures, my focus shifted towards the use of colours. Besides the transparent elastic cords I have three colours for the nylon available. However, with the abundance of structures being mainly bamboo or oak coloured, with sprinkles of pink, orange or yellow string, I got a bit bored. After finishing the 90strut sphere, I noticed that 30 struts could be coloured to make the pentagons stand out more.

Using a sharpie to blacken the strut took some time, it turned into an interesting challenge. Bits of the bamboo structure remain, and it has a matte finish. It's not a deep, consistent black, but I'm quite happy with the combination of the variety of bright bamboo struts and blackish ones.

The next go on colour happened when the stellated cube collapsed after falling from the sky. I had non-toxic red paint and some brushes picked up in a $2 shop. I thought threading the struts between two strings could make painting easier, but the struts kept slipping out, and I had to roll them around a lot to cover all parts.

Painting the struts with a brush probably takes even longer than with the sharpie, and I left out the tips which wasn't a good idea. I tried string to hold the struts together again for applying spray paint, with similar messy results. My favorite method for now is cutting some rubber band as connecting string - it worked quite well, though I still have to take care to go all over the struts to avoid blank spots.

The spray paint leaves a quite glossy finish, and thus very slippery grooves. When recycling one of the first failed attempts to build an octahedron, about four build attempts slipped out of my fingers before making the last two connections. When I finally made it to the last connection, I had to find out the hard way that the tendons were about 5mm too short - one strut split due to too much tension.

I want to use more than one strut colour to bring out more of the structural aspects. The octahedron can be build with two colours in varying patterns, I still have to find out whether I need three or five colour for icosahedral shapes. Colour requires more planning, at least when drying time is involved. From imitating shapes I saw on pictures, I developed to a stage where I can start combining the various shapes in organic ways, and easily build regular polyhedra. I still have some far reaching ideas about materials I want to use, yet colour introduces already another dimension.

I still wonder how healthy and wholesome my artistic ventures are. So far I manage to lay down in semi-supine when I lost focus or noticed pain during the repetitive bits. I certainly spend less hours idling on the internet while working on sculptures. and it's much easier to observe my use in this new activity. A lot of thoughts and internet activities now focus on materials for the next generation of sculptures, while human anatomy still seems far away.

The satisfaction about finished objects and the process of getting there became a sort of meditative pleasure. I failed often, yet each failure offered just a chance the reconsider the means of the creation process. Without any 'dead line', and the knowledge that I have more than enough material for the upcoming market stall, waiting a day or two before an idea is materialised doesn't matter anymore.

After getting proficient at some of the necessary hands-on skills, my curiosity can drive the exploration into colour, shape and movement. Colour enhances the aesthetic value a great deal, transforms the natural aspect of bamboo into something virtual. RGB will look great on models that map into three colours, as might black, red and yellow do.

Saturday, April 3

Explosion of shapes

Showing the photos around to have a selection for the arts market application motivated me to build some more. And I noticed how useful especially the repetitive parts of the building process turn out for my Alexander study.

I found my preferred strut material for now, and got plenty of this as well as variations, so whenever I feel like working a new shape out I can go ahead. Well, I avoid the noisy bits during night time, that's when I can sit back, explore the different aches in various parts of my body, and reflect my experiences.



42 unfinished


I built my first structures using an online 3d animation for tensegrity objects, and there were still some objects that challenged me to handle with my own hands. I watched the animation of an octahedron unfolding into a tensegrity structure over and over, planning the stages of construction for an object with 12 struts.

Cutting the cord to length and knotting into loops and tendons posed the monotonous challenge before getting the octahedron together. I started ambitiously using elastic cord at first, but after some accidents changed over to nylon. An octahedron has six corners, which open into squares for the tensegrity. 12 tendons pull along the original vertexes. A zigzag line of force connects the opposing corners of opposing squares; all the squares show the same chirality.

Seeing a 3d animation on a two-dimensional monitor helps a lot, but it doesn't prevent me from mixing up left and right. It took me hours to develop a decent build strategy that worked without additional hands (i used some small clamps, thinking about some improvement of these little helpers).

The puzzle consists of 12 struts, 12 strings with knots at their ends as tendons, 6 strings knotted into a loop for the corner squares. Starting with the 'bottom' square, four struts connects in a clockwise (or counter-clockwise, if you wish so) to all squares but the opposing square. The struts coming from the 'bottom' and from the 'top' make up the 'left' and 'right' corners of the 'middle' row of squares, which are laterally connected with struts coming from 'bottom' of one square to the top of the adjacent square. All struts join their square with the same chirality. Simple, innit?

42 unfinished lying


Although I don't plan to rebuild '42' at any later stage, I salvaged this accidental creation later with some additional tendons. I guess my difficulties to build this structure at all might relate to the 'technical' error in its construction. 42 has 4 clockwise squares and 2 two counterclockwise squares. When pushed on the left turning corners, the structure nicely compresses, but there's little resistance when other corners get pushed in, all in all it resembles rather an egg than any Platonian Solid.

It took me late into the night to have the sculpture together, and I needed to re-attach some of the tendon to prevent struts from touching. Still, when no strut touched each other anymore, it still looked and behaved somehow wrong. The next day I noticed the mixed chirality, and yet another day later four stabilising tendons gave it its final shape.

42


I had the puzzle nearly finished, just a minor mixup in chirality, so it shouldn't be a problem to do it again, or so I thought. I tried to remember the successful build strategy from the night before to do a proper octahedron, yet it felt more like I repeated some of the typical mistakes of the day before. Usually sawing the grooves is the most unpleasant part of this projects, with familiar tensegrity objects I have figured working build strategies, but this time finding the right sequence took considerable time.

WIth a lot of breaks in between I finished the next miss in building an octahedron. It's not even a tensegrity, some of the struts touch, and its easy to tune into a floppy shape. I wonder whether to keep it, or to reuse the material for the 'real' thing.

Twisted X's



WIth the current abundance of material for struts, I started preparing 20-30 at the same time, 24 were gone now for the octahedron attempts, so I prepared the next bunch. Another chance to experiment with the easiest movements for my repetitive task, and to look out for body feedback during a new task. Precision makes life so much easier- although it's not too difficult to replace a strut in a larger model, in the build phase a failed component usually means back to the start.

At least I still I had an idea how to build this structure now, had analysed some of my prior mishaps, and started to understand more of the dynamics of the octahedron. I found a sequence for connecting struts and strings that needs only little external support and can take a bit of handling without disintegrating, cutting and knotting strings to well-known length happened nearly by itself.

Anti-Octa (counterclockwise stellated octahedron)


The third object with 12 struts, 12 tendons and 6 loops finally turned out as octahedron. Strike! Like with my first attempts with the x-module, I persisted through a series of failures until found a decent way of building. Connecting the tendons the right way meant as well that the structure started stabilizing itself to a certain degree before it was finished. Now I've got another model that can do with rough handling, the symmetry distributes impact easily, as an accidental 2 metre drop proved.

Once I connected struts and strings in the way I wanted to in order to build an octahedron, I had a better understanding about the difficulties of this process. The right sequence provided relative ease, so I wanted to do it again. I checked the clock before I prepared the strings, I still had enough struts, carefully studied Anti-Octa to build the clockwise turning equivalent.

Counterclockwise and clockwise stellated octahedrons


After 50 minutes without great difficulties the sculpture was finished. Another beast tamed. Left and right turning octa's connect nicely in the triangles created by three parallel struts. When I get bored I might be tempted to build a high-riser, although I surely need some extra tendons for vertical stability.

Different turning octahedron joined at a triangular face

I felt ready for the next challenge, using the experiences gained to tackle the cube. I had a first go just after I finished 42, but settled for building a real octahedron first before moving to the next structure. The cube has eight corner, that span into triangles for the tensegrity, and 12 connecting tendons. The model needed a bit of tuning, but this time I succeeded with the first attempt.

Even as tensegrity the inherent instability of the cubic shape becomes apparent. I might be able to balance it on one corner, which is much easier with an octahedron. However, it offers ample space in its center and looks very airy even when sitting on four corners.

Slice o'Dice (Stellated Cube)


12 struts seemed no longer a challenge, two new shapes belong now to my tensegrity alphabet, So why not have a go at the trigonal prism? Six triangular loops connecting nine strut and 9 tendons. I solved this puzzle as well on the first go. I averaged a bit the tendon length. The model doesn't balance on all corners, yet provides a wide basis when placed on three corners (for a beam). Now I need to make up my mind whether to go metal or bigger, hanging some of the structures on a string provides some good stability test and maybe some durabilty test as well.

69 (Trigonal prism, balanced on one corner)