Changing habits

The first two days with Nili felt quite intense, now it feels more like the usual strange energy has returned to school. Nili teaches a very strict MacDonald style, straight in and out of chairs, with very strong directions in her hands.

Last wednesday I took up my visual experiments again, and it blows my mind more and more. Kate can see me changing with and without lenses, I notice more the changes in my thinking than in my use. Somehow, the perceived need for control and flow interfere, and might be entirely incompatible. However, the (intermittend) lack of self esteem drags me down, even habitually.

The performance session nearly turned into a fight with Maria, but luckily Kate intervened very elegantly and defused the situation. Having a turn with Jenny on friday made the memories turn into experience easier, I still felt quite drained afterwards.

Happily I have no definition for 'madness', otherwise I could think that I'm heading just there.