Monday, October 26

Rubberband man

Nearly 5 metres of wooden dowel were waiting to be transformed, for weeks. I wanted to build to tensegrity sphere, as precursor for a model of an eye. I found a great demonstration how to do this, yet it meant a departure from my prior ways of attaching the tension elements.

Many small models made of units that combine a tensile and compressive element, which basically offers a bit more flexibility than the 'tension loops' I used before. The loops, on the other hands, reflect some of the 'Great circles' created by rotation.

Like so often, I departed a bit from the original measurements, using thicker dowels makes the sphere less 'airy' than the model in the youtube video. The biggest challenge was precision this time, I had to saw a groove to hold the string at both ends of the dowels.

Using my new Dremel, I went through some cutting blades, luckily wearing goggles that saved me from the first violently disintegrating blade. I still haven't got the proper gizmo for wood cutting, and the different blades I used produced different wide and deep grooves. Also, I didn't glue the strings to the dowels, so some became easily undone.

My first attempts to assemble the sphere failed badly. Most grooves were so wide that the strings slipped out easily, so after some frustrating trials I called it a day. I had made 32 elements (the sphere needs 30), and wondered if I could use them for something, at the same time thinking about simple solutions to overcome the slipperyness.

Again, rubber bands saved my day. The models I build with them deteriorate quite fast, but as temporary solution they worked wonders. I secured each connection between the units with a rubber band, and, voila, I could follow the demonstration video nearly step by step to success. Unfortunately, this went much faster than my camera batteries recharged. Before I'm brave enough to see whether the sphere will survive without any rubber bands, I'll wait to document the first bouncy bit.

Monday, October 19

Moderated

Another week of change of routine, the AUSTAT moderator visits our school. I had a turn with Penelope Carr, in the privacy of the back room, and it felt a bit like the first private lessons I had. I liked her gentle and kind approach, and the idea of just "one percent more". I could inhibit some of my habits while putting hands on her, and got a better idea about how long I should keep them on. The end-gainer in me probably wanted to see a result from my activity, it's so easy to forget that caring about my own use comes first.

In the group we shared some experiences of our own process, and I picked up - surprisingly - some habits of others in the group that fell under the radar so far. It seems like my blurry vision provides sufficient input (at least on short distance) about movement, so there's one thing less to worry about.

The yoga session worked out nicely, it's getting easier to stay aware of my movements, instead of going from position A to B.

Thursday, October 15

Speaking

I had a good turn with Jenny, working on my habit of 'checking in' or 'feeling out'. It seems like I start conceptualising when I become aware of new sensations, instead of continuing to inhibit and direct my movement. Somehow, Ann's idea of the freedom of the neck as gauge, got stuck in my thinking.

We explored the 'whispered ahhh' in prone. When I'm close enough to a student, the 'non-moving' parts become salient even without any optical clarity. My hands picked up a lot of Tristans movements, and I could see how much of his neck was involved in raising the head.

Bronwyn changed the performation session a bit, and experimented with voice projection. No chance to premier my new song, heaps of interesting new information nevertheless. I was surprised about the amount of pre-tension I build up to enter the stage... hmm do I associate a certain head position or jaw tension as 'right feeling' for starting to speak?

I still need to investigate different strategies for habits arising from imprints, conditioning and learning. I wonder whether trauma applies to all three layers, most likely.

Tuesday, October 13

The stutterer

I managed to detect some of my student habits in my turn with Libby. I thought somehow the 'right way' of sitting down links to feeling out what's happening. Instead of 'checking the quality' of my movement I added a direction for my front, extending ease from the initiation of the movement until close to its end. I learned a lot of movement this way: Achieving my end by feeling the right conditions to start, and staying with a sequence of feelings that hone into the targeted movement.

Being wrong in social situations poses still a high stimulus to me, yet I enjoy it more and more. I paired up with Jane in Matt's hands-on group, well, it rather happened by the seating arrangement. I might have looked a bit unhappy, she re-assured me by stating not to repeat our last group work mishap, and we started with a friendly laugh. The session worked out really well, I found some more ways to stay out of my way while putting hands on, and pleasantly surprised by the precision of Jane's observation and verbal guidance when she put hands on.

After a coffee-free coffee break we had the book session, with me running Jenny's group with Ana, Alysha and Martin. I managed to use the mindmap I made to keep the summary quite concise. I could feel some sort of excitement every now and then, but looking around the group, and actively listening helped me to get through all key points and questions in a way that involved the entire group. I forgot an essential question though, whether there was anything left to add. It's an elegant way to indicate the nearing end of the session, and gives anyone not heard 'enough' the chance for a last word.

Monday, October 12

Yoga

I had my first turn with David after the holidays, I experienced more of my asymmetric use, and some of my 'Alexander student' habits. I think I will dedicate this week to observe my habits at school, being banned from coffee during the Aurum experiment can certainly help.

Observing without glasses, however, still feels quite odd. I could pick up some patterns while we worked in Lailani's group on walking, but then, the average use certainly improved already a lot.

I can still get into my old yoga habits, I certainly often 'stare' when doing asanas. Layer by layer by layer. The shift from reaching a position to observe the movement doesn't come easy, yet becomes more and more enjoyable.