Bad news

The day started with the pleasant surprise of another turn with Vivien. Her subtle hands moved around my shoulders to encourage more release, yet I still need to increase my sensitivity in this area. I know that my sensory feedback is unreliable, yet I have some trouble to let unknown feeling states happen.

Discussing the reading in the big group didn't allow to in-depth insights, yet worked out very peaceful, unlike the group work with Matt. He claimed that inhibition weakens the habitual pattern, thereby focusing on the 'wrong-doing', while I argued that it rather creates and strengthens the inhibition circuits.

I got tense and frustrated when he ignored/refuted my comment with "That's just semantic". I get the impression that many people in school don't want to deal with the thinking/language aspect of the work, unaware of their communication/interaction habits.

The group with Jenny worked out much better, taking heads and shoulders on the table. I can easier sync with Jenny's instruction, they seem better timed and very concise. My use while putting hands on improved a lot, although I still don't notice too much with my hands. Doing less will certainly help.

The bush fires around Melbourne interfere with our plans for the residential, which means it loses much of its attraction. I hardly can handle setbacks outside school at the moment, this change of plans affects me more than I want to.