Awareness

We had three two hours of anatomy this week, and I noticed how tiring the traditional frontal teaching format is. Luckily Mick Gleeson presented the material in an interesting and light-hearted way, deepening my knowledge about anatomy in a productive way.

Even today the school routine didn't kick back in, half of the students explored swimming with Penny. Ria and Jenny were our teachers for the performance day, having plenty of time for each of us. I worked with Ria on maintaining my directions while talking to a student, which worked out well in many dimensions.

Not that I don't like having hands on me, but Rias communicative approach improved a bit my self-esteem. And as we both maintained our use, the quality of the conversation, even with many interruption, reached a lot of mutual understanding.

We explored the role of the jaw in sound production as group activity, after exploring each others torso during breathing, monkey and whispered aaah. The more I allow all of the sensory information to come together, the easier it gets to get an idea what's happening in another person.

During the performance session, Ria picked up on my extra breathing when singing. After my first attempt, she used her hands to remind me to inhibit this habit, then she just cued me verbally in time. I was surprised that my performance looked like I was thinking less, as I was acutely aware of the diversity of intentions I was juggling with while singing.

Anatomy,

I discovered the connection between my shoulders and my knees during the turn with Ria. My attention slowly encompasses more and more of my body, yet I still need a lot of verbalized directions.

I did a bit of CJ, and happily joined a group during turn time working with David. I changed the way I put hands on, my arms move more freely and I tend less to fall into the body I'm touching.

Anatomy brought some surprising insights into group dynamics. We needed some time to agree what the task consisted of, yet got something together in the end. Rossi noticed my old pattern, although weaker than last year.

We described primary control, monkey and hands on the back of a chair in anatomical terms, revisiting our presentation the next week.

More feet

I had another turn with Margaret, learning more about feet and my habits in standing. I want to get back to give my directions in Peter's wording, something soon to come. We did bits of hands-on work, taking Robert's head.

We finished with some Yoga, and the first stretch undid parts of my hip holding pattern, at least that was my impression we I noticed unstoppable trembling in this area.

Bright side

I had the first turn with Loukia, and enjoyed the new experiences she offered me. I discovered the fine line between the sensation of movement caused by movement of outer muscles and the movement caused by the anti-gravity reflex, or rather, I caught a glimpse of it.

In our group work we experimented with sliding tunes while sitting back to back, I had Garth and Michael as stimulus while doing this. Like always, attention and intention were the keys to notice anything, and those two backs I leaned on offered so much different information.

The performance session with Ria worked amazingly well. She hardly used her hands, but managed to give us some ideas which changed our performance to the better. Getting prepared (and directed) before entering the actual spot for performing worked well for me, and I noticed how much my performance picked up whenever I managed to 'throw some direction in'.

The bright side

It looks the intense start into my fourth term swept the ground under my feet away.... yet not through an immense up, rather by returning to old hazardous habits. Today's turn with Ria helped quite a bit getting back into presence.

I felt quite heavy when singing, the I couldn't integrate direction, new lyrics, a changed audience and the stimulus of performing itself into something coherent. I think I know now what I miss: Decent communication about mental habits that we discover on our path. I noticed that 'parking' my body while attending something produces heaps of thoughts, dragging me into the limbic system and down.

'You need courage to maintain the up constantly, it's a bit like being naked'. I agree absolutely with Nili, yet I don't know yet how to gain that courage.

Spirals

I walked to school, which made it easier to adapt again to the 'Alexander thing'. My turn with Margaret taught me a lot, and my proprioception doesn't feel too screwed up after two weeks break.

In the group with Margaret and Ria we talked about the spirals formed by muscle groups that loop around the torso and the limbs. The comparison to the structure of fabric, and its different elasticity depending on the direction of tension within it helped me a lot to refine my ideas about muscles and fascia. While muscles work a bit like a sewed fabric, fascia acts more knitted fabric. (Take this with a grain of General Semantics).

In between the groups Maria and Anne worked with me, and I'm quite surprised about the difference in contact I notice when they put hands on.

Lailani took us very slowly through some asanas based on all fours. I manage more and more to forget about end-gaining while doing yoga, and really love to notice the increase in body awareness that comes with this changed attitude.

Feet

The week started a bit unusual - due the coordination for the Yoga exhibition the turn time git shifted arounnd a bit. Margaret worked with me on the sensation of weight, grounding it with my heels. I enjoyed the yoga session, I get the impression of improvement.

John let us play with each other in the group session. We tried to guide each other by using our hands around the head and on the back and worked on our observation skills.

Back to school

The new term saw one new face, Jim, who already visited the school for anatomy sessions. And as had my turn with Margaret and Ria just like Maria, I did not start as first, and bounced around a bit during turn time.

Although I did hardly any work during the break, I have not yet forgotten everything. Playing around with hands-on proved again that human bodies by itself constitute a large stimulus. The day at school ended with a surprise pilates session, which might leave me with some sour muscles.

Neutral Mask

The first term of my Alexander Technique teacher training ended today after a five day residential course. Our schohttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifol went to the Maitripa comtemplative centre in Healsville, a buddhist retreat in a beautiful part of the Upper Yarra Valley.

No TV, radio, mobile phone or internet disturbed the calming effect of the surroundings, and Paul Hampton, actor and Alexander teacher, presented the theme of this residential: the Neutral Mask.

David, Jenny, Penny McDonald, Ria and Margaret made up the teaching crew, and besides Jose every student came for at least some of the time to Healsville. The first day started with a nice lunch and the Neutral Mask. Paul brought a bunch of white masks, the eyes slightly downward slanted, the mouth a little bit less smiling than on the linked photo.

The mask does not know anything, wondering about everything and saying yes to everything. The mask lives in an imaginary world, aware of an all surrounding horizon, moving its view around with its head and not its eyes. The mask does whatever it want to do, however, it does not speak and does not explore its body. One can only see the mask when it faces the audience.

Paul instructed the participants into the characteristics of the mask, and how to handle the transition of oneself into the Neutral Mask. You treat the physical mask with respect, never put it face down, never poke your fingers through its eyes. You stand facing a wall, have a good look at the face you will put on in some seconds, take the rubber band around the back of the head, slide it slowly down onto your face and make it sit comfortable.

We started with all of us wearing a mask, and walking through the room, getting a first impression how it feels to wear it, breathing mainly through our mouths as hardly any air passed through the tiny holes of the nostrils.

Then we played some setting through, with three or four masks playing in the same imaginary setting. Have we seen the mask? I enjoyed both observing and wearing the mask. The settings became more complex from day to day, from involving objects to doing hands on partner work on the last.

I hope to find a source for some decent Neutral Mask, best with androgynous features. Using the mask on workshops looks like a promising idea for AT group work and even introductions into the principles.

Shoulders

I had half a turn with David and a full one with Ria. I talked shortly with her about my emotional confusion, but I'm not too sure if I took her answer on board. I cannot get out the way I came in.

Lailani explained the shoulder a bit more, and I could experiment to direct Ria, while playing with the mobility of the arm. Learning details about the anatomy of shoulder and arm certainly helps me calibrating my sensations in this area. I felt the roundness of the shoulder blade, and its movements while the arm moved.

Reverse monkey

My day started with a slight hangover, a bit of a cold, tense muscles spiced up with some self-pityness. I fostered this combination while in semi-supine before I had a turn with Jenny. Although I didn't anticipate my situation to get better, the turn brought me back into a more balanced state. As soon as I stopped trying hard, and feeling bad about the misuse during the weekend, release happened and got me more aware again.

As only half of the students came in today, I had a second turn with Ria, exploring the range of motion of my arms. The yoga session felt intense, although I already forgot how we started it. Doing the dog again drained a lot of energy, yet doing it properly brought some good stretching. We ended the yoga session with a reverse monkey, walking up the wall while supporting the body weight with the hands.

I slowly begin to understand the monkey now, and it certainly works better with intention than micromanaged on joint level. The final group session lasted only half an hour, and while waiting for the Pilates session with Heidi I tried to teach juggling to Ria and Rossi.

The pilates exercises challenged me a lot, although we did them in a slow pace. We started with raising awareness for our breathing, as most exercises synchronise breathing and movement. As all of us lack core strength, Heidi chose exercises involving the pelvic floor. Pilates challenges me more than expected, yet I like it. I will try to find some description on the web of what we did to do a little homework.