More Back

This time I changed my plans myself - when Marigold arrived and had no one to work with, I moved from David to her for my turn. We worked on maintaining the back and using the arms in an integrated way.

I spend most waiting time working with others, first Anne, then Jen and Cal. I like putting my hands on the upper part of the chest. Most 'older' students and teachers move a lot in this area, and tuning into the rhythm of another humans breath satisfy my end-gaining for 'sensation'. I still forget my ordering, however, moving my arms connected gets easier.

We didn't put hands on in the last group, instead we explored crawling. Taking it slow, maintaining an activated back and keeping the weight mainly on the lower limbs allowed nice animal like movement.

Speaking

I had the first turn with David after the break. My use has improved, although my habits during speaking still go strong. The waiting time passed pleasantly with a bit of hands-on with David, then in the groups with Bronwyn and Libby.

We put our hands on the lower side of the ribcage during chair work. I found it hard just to place my hands with opposing thumbs on, I have to improve the flexibility of my wrists a lot to confidently use my hands. And like so often, less turned to be more.

In Libby's group we played with moving a head around. I worked together with Anne, and enjoyed the experience.

David announced the alternative residential program, we will travel between a yoga school in Thornsbury and our school.

More hands-on

I arrived less exhausted today, and cooled down in semi-supine before I had a great turn with Jenny. Her idea of perceiving the activity of thinking a free neck as gateway to sense the entire body makes more and more sense to me. This indirect procedure accomplished more freedom, without thinking about ankles, knees and hips these joints moved easily.

I played a bit with Anne on the table, taking her head, arms and legs. I get aware that the situation affects my use still a lot, although I get better in using another body as stimulus to direct myself.

The group with Vivien favored Steven a lot, although we could learn heaps by observation. We did some more hands-on with Jenny, after she asked us to inhibit the most typical hick-ups in putting on hands.

I bruised my foot yesterday by ambitiously jumping off a 2 metre fence, so I didn't put too much weight on the aching foot. During the table turn with Matt I felt nearly no pain, releasing the muscles around the affected area counteracted some habitual responses.

The reading session brought no real new information, and afterwards I had the pleasure of being the subject of table work of three students at the same time. I noticed some differences in the ways Sharon, Anne and Maria put their hands on, and I wonder how much my expectation and prior experiences influence the connection between our nervous systems.

In the last group we revisited spirals. I didn't feel comfortable standing, yet Margaret's tip to let the weight pass through my injured foot into the ground worked amazingly well. Still, the pain distracted me a lot so that my hands did not pick up much.

Spirals

I walked to school, which made it easier to adapt again to the 'Alexander thing'. My turn with Margaret taught me a lot, and my proprioception doesn't feel too screwed up after two weeks break.

In the group with Margaret and Ria we talked about the spirals formed by muscle groups that loop around the torso and the limbs. The comparison to the structure of fabric, and its different elasticity depending on the direction of tension within it helped me a lot to refine my ideas about muscles and fascia. While muscles work a bit like a sewed fabric, fascia acts more knitted fabric. (Take this with a grain of General Semantics).

In between the groups Maria and Anne worked with me, and I'm quite surprised about the difference in contact I notice when they put hands on.

Lailani took us very slowly through some asanas based on all fours. I manage more and more to forget about end-gaining while doing yoga, and really love to notice the increase in body awareness that comes with this changed attitude.

Anatomy

I had my turn with Duncan today, and we did some chair work. He still seems to try to impose his idea of challenging me, yet no conflict arose. I volunteered happily to get some table work from Anne, with really good results. I felt my shoulders and hips slowly melting softer while she had her hands on, a really pleasant experience.

I enjoyed Ann's anatomy sessions thoroughly, her relaxed yet knowledgeable style suits me well. I explored movement of the scapula with Ana, our new Brasilian student, and the movement of the prime movers together with Steven. Experiencing the involvement of large parts of the torso in any arm movements revealed some of my funny ideas about arms, and will help me integrating my limbs better.

Ease

Working with Jane turned out to be fun, and she managed to give me a lot information while working on the chair. I tried to inhibit my head back, shoulder up pattern while speaking, and noticed the preparatory actions before I was speaking. I'm less confused by non-local effects any more, but rather cherish the opportunity to recalibrate my proprioception.

On the table Jane and I managed significant release of the shoulders, knowing more about the structure of this area helps a lot. I still need to develop a decent sensation of width throughout my trunk in a lengthened state.

Anne worked with me straight after Jane, and surprised me a bit when she asked to have an AID AT T-shirt. I might have found a first ally to use more of the internet.

Singing gets a bit easier, I manage my level of apprehension better. I chose a different song, and Cal noticed the different pattern between speaking and singing with me. Jenny needed less extreme movements to keep me on track, and glimpsed my self during the performance.

Inhibition

I tried to spruik the wiki today, with minor sucess. Anne, Kate and Duncan noticed the t-shirt, but I still like David to recognise and use the mailing list and spread the word. End gaining? Hard to say, I feel more like I inhibited myself a lot.

I had turns with Duncan and Ferry today. I worked with Duncan and the impulse to fix myself in standing. Ferry worked with me while I was sitting and reading, exploring the shoulder blades kinaestetically and mentally.

Anne gave an introduction to group work, including the P'ching short cut. The playful and unjudgemental approach of the pair work made some basic principles of the work tangible.

Antigravity

Another day with two turns, yet with less revelations than yesterday. The first turn was with Duncan, and therefor more on the verbal side of things, which sometimes overstimulates me a bit. Nevertheless, this gives me the opportunity to exercise using directions as a background process, and I learned a bit more of the relation between my knees and back.

I worked with Ferry for the first time, and had to adjust to his firm hands. I plunged into the chair when I sat down, as I didn't use my hip joints properly, while he directed me by putting hands around my neck. When Libby started working on him while he worked on me it felt much lighter, and I responded much better to a more gentle approach. However, I could collect useful information while doing it "wrong", especially about releasing with verbal suggestion, which worked very well to increase the mobility of my arms.

We came back to ordering and directing in the group work with Libby. We started observing each other undirected, and I happily plunged and collapsed into the chair. The most amazing change happened (with me) when we tried to keep the directions during the movement. A simple "neck free" allowed me an easy getting in and out of the chair, and the other group members (and me) noticed some drastic difference between directed and unconscious movement.

The anatomy session with Anne covered unfamiliar territory, and I liked especially the idea of the antigravity reflex that can kick in once the neck is released. I went into a bit of disagreement about the kind of nerves for muscular control - I brought up intramuscular nerves in addition to those connected in a spinal reflex cycle and those ending in cortical motor area. I better research whether those exist (or not, as David and Anne insisted), as well as the concept of the antigravity reflex (or positive support reaction).

Activities

I had my turn for the first time with Anne, and it yielded some interesting results. She made aware about my tendency to anticipating the teacher's move, and her hands were sufficiently sensitive to make me feel the difference between availability and helping the teacher. I felt as well a connection from my feet up to my head - well, just with a released neck, of course.

I juggled as activity, and managed some noticeable ease, after releasing hips, knees and ankles. Duncan's idea to consider when an activity starts (does it start with the throwing of the first balls, putting the arms in front of the body or by picking up the balls?) helped a lot in conducting this activity.

I still have no clue how to use my hands to do teachers work - but I realise how much fine-tuning into my body I need to keep myself coordinated. Anne's anatomy group helped in raising this awareness, as she talked us to different areas of the body. Her homework challenges my constructed self-image. I tend to consider myself as the whole body, but spontaneously just my eyes appeared in front of mental eye. Mentally, my head still floats around somewhere, yet I certainly felt easy after the turn with Anne.

Let's see how much I can get a conversation going about psycho-physical unity, and use language more precise to avoid constructing a distinction between mind and body.