Additive Thinking

The morning began with a lazy drive to school, and a good turn with Libby. I get more sensitive for the extra work I'm doing, sometimes it feels like the muscles activate, sometimes just like they want to.

The reading yielded, like often, quite mixed responses. And the topic, I have to admit, seems quite advanced to me. I experimented a little bit at Golden Beach with additive thinking, and although I have an idea about it I still need much more practise. I asked Jenny whether its possible to experience the effect of additive thinking with the help of a teacher. Funny enough, after something that sounded like agreement she insisted finally to disagree.

The groups, with Jenny and then with David, did a lot of hands-on work. We played again with listening hands, and I noticed how much more sensitive my hands become, if I manage to inhibit the overuse of my shoulders while putting hands on. I still have to figure out what I do with my wrists, currently much more gets activated when I think about them.

Performance

During the turn with Jenny we detected a funny pattern: By releasing my wrists more my shoulders came undone, and my back lengthened. Interesting to find out how complex something like moving wrists can end up to be.

We did a re-briefing of Vivien's visit in the first group, and especially Tony aired his criticism extensively. Maria did her best to defend her, and appreciated the emotional experience Vivien put her through.

I forgot my lyrics sheet, which made performing a difficult task. Nevertheless I made some progress, the sound of my voice changed a lot in my 15 minutes of fame/shame. I have to remember to bring my camera with me,

Anatomy,

I discovered the connection between my shoulders and my knees during the turn with Ria. My attention slowly encompasses more and more of my body, yet I still need a lot of verbalized directions.

I did a bit of CJ, and happily joined a group during turn time working with David. I changed the way I put hands on, my arms move more freely and I tend less to fall into the body I'm touching.

Anatomy brought some surprising insights into group dynamics. We needed some time to agree what the task consisted of, yet got something together in the end. Rossi noticed my old pattern, although weaker than last year.

We described primary control, monkey and hands on the back of a chair in anatomical terms, revisiting our presentation the next week.

Pregnancy

I had the first turn in this term with Libby, after playing around yesterday in the group work, and she helped me a lot in getting a sensation of width across shoulders. I knew for a longer time that I did some extra work with my shoulders, but I couldn't really pinpoint what. I thought about moving them back or forward, while in fact I narrowed them across my back. When I notice now the familiar uncomfortable twitching on the inside of my scapula, directing width of my shoulders offers the release (and probably the neutral position) I need.

Ferry took up most of the time of our group work where we tried to work on typing, a very common activity for me. However, the observations helped a bit in understanding some important aspects of it, yet I certainly use setups at home which foster bad use.

Instead of a second Julia gave a presentation about pregnancy, and how the technique can help women in this situation and during giving birth.

Anatomy

I had my turn with Duncan today, and we did some chair work. He still seems to try to impose his idea of challenging me, yet no conflict arose. I volunteered happily to get some table work from Anne, with really good results. I felt my shoulders and hips slowly melting softer while she had her hands on, a really pleasant experience.

I enjoyed Ann's anatomy sessions thoroughly, her relaxed yet knowledgeable style suits me well. I explored movement of the scapula with Ana, our new Brasilian student, and the movement of the prime movers together with Steven. Experiencing the involvement of large parts of the torso in any arm movements revealed some of my funny ideas about arms, and will help me integrating my limbs better.

Long way

I tried to work a bit on CJ with John during my turn, but the extra stimulus has not really helped. John encouraged me though to work on this, and I certainly plan to. Bo did a bit of chair work with amazing results - he moved my shoulder through a release I could not even imagine before.

In Jenny's group we continued playing with our thinking in activity. The eyes show clearly when quantum zeno happens, keeping them lively prevents zoning out. I use a lot of extra activity when using my eyes. When I tried to start reading, I noticed heaps of muscles moving in the area around my eyes. Softening the eyes, and keeping them lively while working with a computer screen, and allows for a new attitude (and direction) while doing this.

The yoga session brought about some good stretches, and less corrections than usual. Progress happens, it just drives me a bit mad.

Shoulders

Today's turn with Jenny brought some more light in my understanding of knees and shoulders. The groups dwelled on the topic of shoulders as well, as we tried in partnerwork to find out how much the shoulders get involved when moving the arms.

The idea of length poses not too much of a problem for me, but I still tend to shorten the width of my trunk. However, the perception of my body becomes more three-dimensional and less fragmented.

Shoulders

I had half a turn with David and a full one with Ria. I talked shortly with her about my emotional confusion, but I'm not too sure if I took her answer on board. I cannot get out the way I came in.

Lailani explained the shoulder a bit more, and I could experiment to direct Ria, while playing with the mobility of the arm. Learning details about the anatomy of shoulder and arm certainly helps me calibrating my sensations in this area. I felt the roundness of the shoulder blade, and its movements while the arm moved.

Voice

I wanted to learn all the names today, instead I saw plenty of new faces. Vivien Mackie, a Cellist and AT teacher, came to the school, as did Daniela, Shiromi and Phil. We had to perform today, and that surely made me a bit nervous.

I had my turn after the break with Margaret, doing table work. She asked me about my semi supines and noticed the changes while I was describing the focus of my attention during this part of the work.

Kaz played his cello in the first group session, which improved after some of Vivien's suggestions. Playing an instrument seem like a good opportunity to focus on the mean-whereby instead of end-gaining. Each song has its own tempo, and each note can be lived out.

I recited Goethe's Faust and noticed some habitual patterns emerging from this observed speaking situation. The throwing back of the shoulders and tensing the neck belong to those undo-able reactions. With a slump (or what felt like it) and bended knees it worked much better.

I started at least the document for my homework, time to read now the man himself.

The first day

It felt a bit like the first day in school, although I've been through the experience of beginning a new chapter of my life quite often. Michael and Rossi seemed more nervous than me, but I didn't hesitate when David asked me to do the first round of 'observed walking'. The teachers took their turns at the as well, and criticising each other to the amusement of all.

As group work we picked up a book while sitting, and used the monkey to pick up a book from the chair. Kaz gave me a bit of table work in the morning, my shoulder need a lot more calibration, and David made me aware about the tendency to put the head back in the last moments of sitting.

On the table and during semi supine I used different heights for the books under my head. I should find some decent height tomorrow morning, and check whether I can connect the names and faces tomorrow. And I could start working on my homework after the class, applying control while doing so.

After losing control deliberately to a certain extend over the weekend, I'm curious about the effect of four days in a row of school. Basically, I can imagine some advances, but this will certainly require a bit of sleep.