Tuesday, October 26

End-gaining

When it comes to a typical 'wrong-doing', end-gaining is the catch-all phrase in the Alexandrian world. 'The ends justify the means' is a commonly used adage and unfortunately often the attitude towards political and societal affairs. Luckily, at least while putting hands on other people, I learned a lot about my end gaining habits. I learned so much that I'm convinced that I can find more end-gaining habits of mine until the day I die.

When Marjorie Fern visited our school, she brought one of my favorite toys with her. It's balls made of hundred of rubbery strings, in bright colours, easy to catch and interesting to feel. I played many games illustrating some of Alexander's ideas, and I like the playful atmosphere created by simple games. When David told me about the workshop with 35 high school kids I immediately thought of using these funny balls.

I went on an internet search after coming home, and the some iterations in my search (from soft and fluffy via stringy to Koosh) I found some Australian online shops offering Koosh balls. Amazingly, these balls were sold as stress reliever, as toys and in a shop for camping gear. The adventure supply shop had the best offer, and so I thought: I want them, I order them. 75mm sounded a bit small to me, but still acceptable, so I typed an order round about $100 in and diligently supplied my credit card details.

I gained my end, the rush of the online shopping experience still exhilarating me a bit. I checked postage and shopping condition, whether encryption was used, but not the actual catalogue of the shop. I compromised already enough, I ignored a better prize offshore, or waiting for sold-out supplies to be restocked. Then I decided to browse the site where I ordered again, finding my way through the idiosyncracies in a mixed bag of online shop.

The choice of products of this camping/hiking/adventure supply outlet surprised me a lot. Only in juggling stores I might have come across the category of 'throwables', and I was stunned by the amount of items listed. Besides Koosh balls, they offer a lot fun things to throw and catch. I caught the item I ordered at the end of the first list, and checked the second page.

OMG, OMFG! Sets of 6! Okay, calm down, let's see what else they offer. 90mm Koosh balls. Oops. Sets of 6. A set of 20 in its own bag. Hmpf. Like in a lot of good shops, if the quantity goes up the prize goes down. A quick calculation makes it obvious to me that I would have ordered totally different if I had checked the range of merchandise first. Bloody end-gainer!

I worked in the computer industry, and know about the finality of electronic transactions. It'll take hours to write an email explaining that something went wrong, to sort out this situation with an better outcome for me by the means of the internet. I think Amazon let's you change orders before they ship them, yet smaller shops even let you order (and pay for) out-of-stock items. A 1-300 number prominently shows on top of the screen, so I inhibit my self-pity about my end-gaining and call their number.

So I explained my stuff-up to Damien, and asked him whether I could change my order. I guess that he pulled up my order on his computer while we were talking. He seemed relieved when I indicated that I happily still order for the same amount, and promised to take care of this within 15 minutes after our call. We chatted for about 10 minutes, and I realised that my end-gained order transformed into another encounter of random friendliness by strangers.

It didn't even take 15 minutes for the email with the changed order, and instead of two dozens Koosh balls I'll now get 30, and some bags to put them in as well. I still have no idea whether the delivery will arrive in time before the workshop, though I'm quite confident. Anyway, I enjoyed the great service this little call brought with it, and gained some interesting and fun insights.

Work in front of computer screens contributed a great deal to my patterns of mis-use, and I still need to remind myself often of my directions not to study my old habits. I researched for at least two hours on the web for this funny thing, interrupted by a unicycle ride to check local stores for something to pick up straight away. Like a hungry hunter I went for the first prey in sight. I fell for my end-gaining habit, but it didn't hurt. I noticed what I did, and so liberated myself from falling for my 'end-gaining has failed' habits as well.

Instead, I reevaluated the situation to improve the outcome. End-gaining often leads to undesirable results, but life goes on anyway. The sooner you detect an end-gaining stuff up, the more chance you've got do less and achieve more. In retrospect, the little unnoticed bits of forgetting my means made me try harder instead of acting smarter. Choosing a different reaction unveiled bits of my personal patterns, and probably made me one percent less end-gaining than before.

Thursday, October 21

Non-doing

My last term at school has started, and David invited Bob Britton to teach for some days in Fitzroy. Like so often, the process of learning brings some strange topsy-turvy encounters with it.

Quite some fellow teacher trainees extended their stay in Beechworth after the AUSTAT conference, so that the school seemed quite empty. On monday, Bob helped us exploring our feet anew, using group exercises (wrong word here, don't know any better right now), images and the skeleton. Without giving any 'fixed' idea about the right place to balance, he led us through exploring different configurations, many obviously less mechanical advantageous than our design allows.

Two things stood out for me on the first day. Going with awareness through 'odd' movements provides plenty of information, and opens up more choices. Especially when the movements very distinctly involve 'too much' and 'too little'. Only balance allows movement in any direction, and balance happens very dynamically. I also noticed the precision and animation in Bob's demonstrations. His eyes moved a lot, without seeming hectic at all, and he embodied the ways to move he was talking about.

I'm not too sure how often I heard and talk about the 'triangle under the foot'. I still crave to talk to Jack and Alysha about some details I gave them incorrect information about. I'm not too sure whether they incorporated this faulty bit of information into their movements, or whether Bob's workshops managed to help them to a more reliable body map. I like triangles, triangulation provide minimal stability for my delicately balanced tensegrity sculptures, but until yesterday my idea about the triangle under the foot didn't make use of the complex structure of our foot.

If we use the heel and the two sesamoid bones under the big toe (distal end of the medial metatarsal to be precise) we balance 'naturally'. The wide base of the heel 'receives' the body weight first, and the transverse arch, build by the bones posterior to the metatarsals, directs the weight towards the big toe. Flat feet often come together with slightly x-shaped legs, that's too much on the inside, too little on the outside. My legs rather tend to an o-shape, too much weight goes to the little toe, too little to the big one.

Although the way my feet touch the ground changed noticeably, I still find myself often 'stuck' to the ground - not too surprising, as I attempt to spread the weight in my foot quite equally towards the big and little toe. Another example that directions allow us to do the 'wrong thing' more efficiently. Incorporating some consolidated information gives me more confidence to experiment more with what happens at the same time in legs and hips.

Todays topic fitted in nicely, having another take on the separation and connection of legs and torso. Bob kept the group engaged and moving, using an iPad to show us some amazing anatomical drawings. The infectious upness carried on into student clinic.