Kindergarten

The second day without David, and with one teacher down improvisation ruled. I had a splendid turn with Margaret though, which left me finely balanced. I spend some time with CJ, until the funny group work started.

We inspected killer consonants with attention and hands, although I didn't want to inspect Michael too closely. The real kindergarten started with Jenny's sing along session - fun yet effective.

I noticed some extra movement while pronouncing k sounds, which interfered quite a lot with Mackie Messer, which is full of it. However, I might go for a different interpretation, stressing the ideals of good old Bert Brecht.

Release the neck

My turn with Ferry felt good, his directions made it easy to observe myself during chair work. Anatomy with Jeremy wasn't as playful as usual, though we explored each others bodies by palpitating the head and chest.

I didn't really participate in the group work, instead I had a good table turn with Bo. I noticed the (hyper?) activity of my mind, and the change in bodily perception when I started directing myself more. Receiving specific directions helps me a lot to release extra tension, and getting back to the primary control prevented me from chasing pink elephants.

Playful

Duncan found me playing with the Cj ball, and we worked a bit on this during the turn. Most of the time, however, he used quite significant force the demonstrate some vital points where the weight travels through my body.

During the group work to play with legs on the table, and ribcages while sitting. The stimulus gets reduced with anything but the head, yet the sensitivity has to grow. Yoga felt mellow today, no fitness attack like in the last two weeks.

Playful

Matt spotted me juggling (not CJ), and we worked on the thinking related to the preparations for it during our turn. I have to experience more often that I balance by bringing my head forward and my back back, instead of the habitual bracing pattern.

During the group work we played selling the technique. Good one liners as answer can work out like an open question, and allow to explain AT driven by the interest of the listener.

More CJ

Penny enjoyed having a turn while I tried balancing my CJ ball, and gave me great feedback how I can proceed. The day turned a bit less playful with some more explorations of voice production, although I encountered new areas of investigation.

The performance situation still poses the biggest obstacle to some decent singing performance. However, I start enjoying it much more than I thought possible, and until the end of the term something will emerge.

Genuine interest

I had a turn with Libby, playing again with my CJ ball. Libby seemed to like the idea a bit more than John, and she reminded me of the way I use my arms. Giving myself indefinite amount of time for learning works so far well - I don't know where I will progress to, so I can appreciate even tiny advances.

The C&C session turn our very interesting, especially the interactive part with Bo. We talked about our perception of our fellow students, with interesting insights.

Reading

I had 10 minutes of chair work with David, and a full turn with Bronwyn, and felt quite up afterwards. Something still happens in my upper back, probably related to the shoulder girdle or even the neck. Stopping to do that gave me the up, yet I might play with the idea of connecting myself.

According to FM, we work on evolution, individual and for society as a whole. However, some of the statements cause irritation.

In Libbys group we investigated feet and ankles again, and it still did not get to boring.

Long way

I tried to work a bit on CJ with John during my turn, but the extra stimulus has not really helped. John encouraged me though to work on this, and I certainly plan to. Bo did a bit of chair work with amazing results - he moved my shoulder through a release I could not even imagine before.

In Jenny's group we continued playing with our thinking in activity. The eyes show clearly when quantum zeno happens, keeping them lively prevents zoning out. I use a lot of extra activity when using my eyes. When I tried to start reading, I noticed heaps of muscles moving in the area around my eyes. Softening the eyes, and keeping them lively while working with a computer screen, and allows for a new attitude (and direction) while doing this.

The yoga session brought about some good stretches, and less corrections than usual. Progress happens, it just drives me a bit mad.

Shoulders

Turns with Jenny give me a lot of precise information. I still hold my ankles a lot, and found some new ways of releasing them. In the group session we played an inhibition game, pointing to the chair you want to sit, walk over and wait until the occupier choose the next target. It got really funny when we started adding extra rules. We ended the day with some hands-on exercises

The biggest surprise however came from Bo, who told me interesting stories just after school.

Swing it

The turn with Margaret helped releasing my shoulders really well. I either notice better that I do too much with them or its the pink elephant effect, have will have to figure this out.

We did another session of hands-on sound production, this time with knowledge of some more muscles of the neck. Putting hands around the neck still produces a high rate of stimuli.

I liked my work with Jenny on Mack the knife, her idea of hitting the notes instead of sliding into them improved my singing at least a bit. I should probably rather have a swing tune in my mind than a hurdy-gurdy, something to remind until the next time.

Up and down

Although I claimed towards Jane that I use to work on mental pattern more than the body when having turns with Duncan, I failed to do so today. I spend most of the time trying to direct myself while listening, and I hardly managed to influence the conversation into topics that allowed me to gain insights. I wanted to investigate the way my head moves while talking, which seems so much easier with less engaging topics.

However, Duncan told me that I'm not doing my habit when I observe myself in the mirror, and it took me about 10 minutes to convince him to share his observations. To my surprise, he told me that I move the head forward and down, not without hinting that I appear as a barrier to him sometimes. I thought my pattern works back and down, which explains the difficulty in noticing this habit.

During the first group we observed ourself while using our arms, and I noticed the tendency to fall back to bad habits when doing it fast, while movement with more primary control allows flexibility of all involved joints. The third year students presented their ideas of an introductory group session, which showed different ways of doing it less efficiently.

Epiphany

The phenomenon of Alexander stiffness gets activated by the quantum zeno effect. By focusing of attention to our internal state we literally freeze the quantum activity, the permanent observation impedes the natural flux of the anti gravity reflex.

Free won't

I enjoyed the conversation with Bronwyn during our turn. I shared my enthusiasm about Jeff Schwartz's book 'Mind & Brain' and explained some of the implications of neuroplasticity for our work. I felt quite positive after David mentioned that I'm getting out of the pattern of misuse of my shoulders. Bronwyn's hands balanced my body so delicately that I could feel the weight travelling down to my heels, getting in and out of the chairs easily.

Razia's C&C session appeared more like a group therapy session than a commmunication training. However, it focuses on the how instead of the what, and the gentle approach proposed by her simply works out well in most cases. We discussed the 'inner critic' as partner work, a bit of interaction after lots of passivity.

However, besides two half turns Jen did some table work with me, while Robert supervised and helped her. This gave me enough up not to feel tired after school.

Heads

My attitude and Lailanis teaching approach didn't fit to well during our turn. I didn't feel addressed by her explanations, but felt a bit patronized, however, this gave me the chance to exercise inhibition.

The yoga turn brought no new revelations, yet I think I finally do the asanas a bit more in a desirable way. During our group work, with all first years, we took each other's heads on the table, a simple task with an amazingly high stimulus.

Backside

I worked with Libby on my habit to push the hips forward, and discovered some interesting relation. Part of the pattern to arch the body forward from the hips is excess tension in the back of the legs. Now, reflecting on this, it seems utterly logical: The weight is pushed in front of the body, so the back needs to "hold on".

During the group work we investigated our feet and ankle joints. Movements of the foot are mostly controlled by muscles in the back of the legs, which show an amazing amount of activity. When studying drawings and the skeleton I realised my funny ideas about the ankle joint, during our experiments I become very aware of the different mobility of left and right ankle joints.

As part of group work we moved one of us back and forth and to the sides to notice the range of passive movement available to the ankle joint. Walking after this felt incredibly easy, slowly I manage to connect my body throughout.

Doing less

Margaret attested a positive change in my use since monday, and I feel like I managed to do less with shoulders and hips. I surprised myself observing a funny behaviour when stopping to walk: I put the hips forwards, as if to put the breaks on. I have to resist the temptation to find an alternative doing to counteract this habit, not doing will do the job.

Jenny's groupwork dealt with sound production and hands-on while doing so. I had a chance to observe Tony, Maria and Jane with my hands. Using my hands on other people still overstimulates me, so that I won't notice too much. However, the activity of muscles on the top of the head when moving the palate surprised me a lot.

I sang Mackie Messer again, this time with Penny as teacher. Dancing turned out near impossible, especially as I confirmed my negative attitude (I can't dance) before even starting, although it improved the singing. I have to think about ways of moving while performing, otherwise i might get stuck in an Alexander student stiffness.