Unexpected

AT can teach to react adequately in any situation, much more than getting in and out of a chair, or releasing specific areas while laying in semi-supine. Our reactions are implicitly holistic - although we might only guess as to why a person blushes during a conversation, we can safely assume that the blush is more than a physical phenomenon.

I looked forward to a turn with Ann, but she didn't arrive in time for the quick-ease, and changed the order of turns a bit. I asked her about that, and she offered me a turn either in the break or after school. I reacted a lot when she told me about the change of plans, yet agreed on a later session.

I took me a while to direct my attention away from the change of plans, and towards observing some fellow students while cycling. I had a bit of a table turn with Ferry, so I didn't have to go 'turnless' into the group.

The anatomy session was like so often a mixture between dull facts, nice anecdotes and some group work deepening our topic, muscles of head-neck region. Our group gave examples of misuse while speaking, demonstrating poking the head out to make a point, gasping, and shyly talking towards the ground.

Having a turn after school went against my habits, and it was the first time it happened for me. Ann went with me to the back room, and we spend most time talking in a very insightful way. She reflected on my reactions earlier, and lots of lightbulbs went off in my head. Interactions are driven by intentions. If I manage to keep up my intention while just observing my reaction to emotional stimuli, a 'problematic' situation can have a positive outcome. Brooming emotions under the carpet, or riding blindly their waves just makes matters worse. Like so often, happiness lies in the golden middle.

Ann-atomy

The day started with a very revealing turn with Ann. She moved me around in a fun way, before she made me bounce with increasing ease on a gym ball. I spend the rest of the turn time with reading, getting aware of the different points of support while doing so.

Jen talked us through the nervous system, quite precisely presented yet getting very lengthy. The distractions from people talking didn't make it easier to stay focused. Stephen and Jim improvised about the respiratory system, and Kaz and Andrea walked us through the circulatory system.

Hearing about the pulsimory and systemic blood flows made my day - I enjoy getting a more detailed picture of intrisicate workings of our bodies.

Mobbed

Sometimes, wishes come true. I didn't have too many turns with Ann, so I felt quite lucky that I had a chance today. I managed to increase a bit the awareness for the whole body, noticing my body from head to feet without zoning out. The turn helped me to maintain my up a bit more, yet in a way it helped increasing my confusion as well.

I made it to the coffee shop first, sitting in the empty front room, when Robert and Cal decided to rather sit in the back, leaving me alone. This brought up some unpleasant memories from the past, and the problems I have in dealing with conformity enforcement.

The anatomy session with Ann deepened my understanding of neural processes, although the mechanics tell only a part of the story of what happens in living systems. Yet we don't deal with the interactive part yet, or rather just in terms of movement. This means I have to find a way to observe the differences in me when trying to direct myself alone or in varying social situations. I wonder whether The Global Brain or Celestine Prophecies holds more clues concerning group phenomena that I could apply to my current situation.

Base of the skull

Before Ann's anatomy session started, I had two short terms with Ferry and David. I notice more the subtle levels of doing, but I still have to work on maintaining a bigger (unified) attentional field. I wonder if I can incorporate some thoughts about the vision system, the experiments at home showed some good results.

We had to prepare a demonstration of the muscles of the base of the skull as homework for anatomy. Thanks to Rossi's idea we managed to improvise a little play in short time, so the homework turned out fun and informative.

Anatomy

I enjoyed another table turn today, this time with Ann. She managed to lengthen me a lot, and helped releasing heaps of tension build up by trying to prevent pain. She told me to let my body react to the pain, instead of bracing around it, and to my surprise I could walk quite nicely.

Bo gave me another table turn, and I realised that doing it quietly makes it more efficient. Either that, or directing before talking could work. We widened my back, before a double anatomy session kicked off.

Ann asked me to demonstrate my limping, yet I still managed to direct myself and could walk free of pain. I didn't want to mimic my morning state, but some people had seen me earlier anyway, so Ann showed how I isolated (and therefor disintegrated) the part in pain.

I still need to figure out where my diaphragm attached to the rips, I certainly have to change my idea of the location of my lungs. The breathing exercise in the deep monkey yielded no remarkable observation, but room for exploration.

Anatomy

I had my turn with Duncan today, and we did some chair work. He still seems to try to impose his idea of challenging me, yet no conflict arose. I volunteered happily to get some table work from Anne, with really good results. I felt my shoulders and hips slowly melting softer while she had her hands on, a really pleasant experience.

I enjoyed Ann's anatomy sessions thoroughly, her relaxed yet knowledgeable style suits me well. I explored movement of the scapula with Ana, our new Brasilian student, and the movement of the prime movers together with Steven. Experiencing the involvement of large parts of the torso in any arm movements revealed some of my funny ideas about arms, and will help me integrating my limbs better.

Taking it easy

While the first days at school felt quite odd, without Mum & Dad, David's presence took the edge away. Not only did I thoroughly enjoy my turn with Ann, I think I learned some bits as well.

The group with Duncan fitted into the category of criticism that came up in the group meeting, it seemed a bit random. However, using eating as activity unveiled to me that the time spend using a habit makes it more and more 'invisible'.

The second group with Ann worked out much better, even though she had the tough job of dealing with a really large group. However, it seems like she uses more of the Psychosynthesis approach, starting from the positive aspects. Unlike more paradigmatic Alexander teachers, she's using what works in a given situation, and thereby representing the mental clarity and flexibility promised by the technique.

Group work

My turn with Duncan turned out a bit confrontational. I felt like reducing the amount of stimuli by doing table work, yet he went down a different road. I went into the typical twist - wanting to answer his questions (probably with tensed neck and shoulders), while having to life with him stopping me from doing so.

I feel pretty much drained at the end of my first term, though I look forward to the residential, without knowing how this total immersion will work out. Although I like the idea of "quickening the mind" (in FM's words), I fail to see this happening to a larger extend with my fellow students.

I had some lengthy conversation with Bo, trying to tie AT principles into the chat about the use of digital cameras. The communicative aspect of the work appears much easier at the moment to me than observation and hands-on, although it challenges me a lot (especially to keep my directions while doing so).

Libby's group work really made my day. We played with resistance, assistance and neutral while doing chair work. Even though I didn't manage to sense the level of connectedness with Jane and Jen, the I distinguished the quality of movement in the different modes. Especially availability feels very distinct from resistance and assistance.

Working with Gen and Cal felt easy, probably as they direct themselves already very good. I realised that thinking directions helps connecting, yet moving people involves an activity. I need to find the fine line between directing while moving and pushing. I enjoyed the partner work with Cal a lot - she gives very precise feedback, and directs herself very good, which makes it easy for me to stay in my body while working with her.

Ann had her group of year 2 students preparing some group work, which we tried with everyone. I couldn't resist to play devil's advocate, yet I realised that not everyone takes criticism as feedback. Kaz, having his doubts about AT at the moment, provided the most fun way to do group work, using the snap gard came to demonstrate the principle of inhibition.

Undoing oneself doesn't come easy, and the perception of one's identity, or ego, stands mostly in the way. On a mental level, the ego prevents most people from changing their habits of thinking, and working on this opens a difficult battlefield.