Awareness

We had three two hours of anatomy this week, and I noticed how tiring the traditional frontal teaching format is. Luckily Mick Gleeson presented the material in an interesting and light-hearted way, deepening my knowledge about anatomy in a productive way.

Even today the school routine didn't kick back in, half of the students explored swimming with Penny. Ria and Jenny were our teachers for the performance day, having plenty of time for each of us. I worked with Ria on maintaining my directions while talking to a student, which worked out well in many dimensions.

Not that I don't like having hands on me, but Rias communicative approach improved a bit my self-esteem. And as we both maintained our use, the quality of the conversation, even with many interruption, reached a lot of mutual understanding.

We explored the role of the jaw in sound production as group activity, after exploring each others torso during breathing, monkey and whispered aaah. The more I allow all of the sensory information to come together, the easier it gets to get an idea what's happening in another person.

During the performance session, Ria picked up on my extra breathing when singing. After my first attempt, she used her hands to remind me to inhibit this habit, then she just cued me verbally in time. I was surprised that my performance looked like I was thinking less, as I was acutely aware of the diversity of intentions I was juggling with while singing.

Conflicting performance

I enjoyed the turn with Penny, and learned quite a lot about my different thinking modes. My first attempt to walk backwards felt impossible, like I was glued to the floor. Knowing that I still need to bend my knee helped to get me moving, the sensations differed significantly at each go. I got more aware of the switch between thinking and feeling.

I partnered up with Kaz for the group work, where we explored jaw movement one more time. I don't notice too much what I do in this area, especially when speaking. Taking time to explore this area starts to integrate it into the perception of my 'whole'.

The performance session ended a bit controversial. I taped my performance, unfortunately I ran out of memory before this happened, so it's tough for me to say how my use changed when I clashed a bit with Jenny. When I started to explain that I'm not a musician, she interpreted this as self-imposed limit. This aristotelian interpretation got me upset, and a little emotional turmoil arose. I hope to have a chance to talk with her about our communication problems soon.

Conscious control

I like having turn with Jenny, her gentle hands seem to connect easily, and she provides me with lots of tactile information. However, talking to her about the emotional aspect of the self and our work left as curious as before.

I did some table work with Maria after that. I understand the way my shoulders work better now, and notice more of the deeper layers of muscles coming back to life (and into my awareness). And I manage to layer more directions together, intent does the trick. She explained to me convincingly that the jaw belongs to the neck, so I should include it in the direction "neck free".

I still haven't plugged the Aid-AT wiki, somehow I inhibited myself from talking about it today. T-shirt communication will make that inevitable tomorrow. The discussion about "Applying conscious control" went into biscuit and chocolate addiction.