Tensegrity

David offered me the opportunity to do my tensegrity workshop during our school's residential. This meant that my car was heavily loaded with plenty of light objects, sensory overload by having a variety of models was part of my plan.

I got so much used to have tensegrity models in my lounge that I nearly forgot the awe they inspire quite often on first sight. Martin hardly couldn't keep his hands off them while driving to Maitripa, and I knew that the strategy of using them as attention grabber would make the presentation part much easier.

I arranged plenty of the smaller and simpler models on the table next to the stage area, the tower and the larger sphere standing next to me. The mind map I made half a year ago laid on a table close by as well, yet I think I used it only a couple of times.



I wasn't tempted to rehearse the presentation, yet I took the chance to work in front of the group with Michael Shellshear on my nervousness about it. He helped me defining a clear goal, and suggested to have a clear beginning, middle part and end for the presentation. Finding a SMART goal wasn't easy, tensegrity offers so many ideas and connections to the work, and of course, eagerly end-gaining as I can be, I wanted to put a lot information into the workshop.

My idea was it to give the participants a more embodied understanding of tensegrity, and to learn more about the qualities of such systems in general. Yet Michael steered me into finding a single quality as focus - bounciness. I'm pretty sure he set some anchors when working with me, although I couldn't consciously describe them.



I started off with a short explanation of the origin of the term, letting my admiration for Buckminster Fuller shining through. I used the metaphor 'island of compression in a sea of tension' to describe the discontinuity of compression (we're no stack of bricks, although some people's thinking is sometimes as flexible as one).

I used to model with a similar structure, but with different tension material (rubber, ie very flexible and nylon ie very tense) to give the participants the first opportunity to play. The models nicely demonstrate expansion and contraction in all dimensions, and squeezing and pulling made the difference in mobility depending on the pretension level (golgi, I hear ya calling) obvious.

I felt quite calm and collected, the adrenaline didn't throw me off but kept me moving confidently. Before I could lose the interest of my audience by the technicalities of the minimal tensegrity system (tensul), making pauses in the verbal part allowed questions, so I could navigate along the mindmap in response to my audience.

The fun started for me when I explained the teamwork task, the 'middle' part of the workshop. I demonstrated the total collapse of a tensul from a box shape into a hodge podge of strings and sticks, and asked the participants to do the same with the models I handed them before.

I had no idea how long it would take the groups to get the models back together, I still consider even a tensul quite a challenging 3d puzzle. I could kick back a bit, observe the attempts of rebuilding with plenty of space to offer help and answer questions. The first team to succeed were Rossi and Jenny, proudly claiming to have won this friendly 'competition'. Yet, instead of simply bragging about this victory they continued to explore kinestically their little toys, while the other teams by and by caught up.

In the two presentations I held no team failed in the end, although some needed to start over a couple of times (you can connect the materials I gave them to a boxy shape which isn't a real tensul). The task kept the participants engaged and interested, and the success yielded many smiles of accomplishment.

This made it easy to get to end part of the workshop. Playing with the tensuls brought up some questions, and offered me the chance to relate the tensegrity idea to anatomy and AT work. Well, I might have stressed the similarities I suspect a bit more, but I guess I will do this workshop again. The questions were interesting, and especially the demonstrations with the shroom-tower model seems to work very well.

I took Carina's suggestion to ask everyone for a single bit they learned in that workshop, and noticed that I achieved my goal - transforming the term 'tensegrity' from a learned-sounding expression to a more lively concept.

However, in retrospect areas for improvement become more apparent. Bounciness, the initial goal, was left out a bit. I realised at home that some of models can be thrown around quite a bit without falling apart, I might use a sphere model for some contact juggling like acts, with some deliberate drops to show the bounce. Now I need to find a good backdrop to shoot some videos of models in movement (the hall I held the workshop with its beautiful Buddha statue would have been ace for that).

Luckily Ana took the photos you can see here, pictures can often tell so much more than words.

Free serving

I managed to forget setting my alarm, without breakfast and a bit of a haste I arrived about half an hour late in school. Although 'being late' used to be one my personal no-nos, I still did the few things I wanted to do, and laid down on a table for semi-supine, instead of being worried and apologetic about my mishap.

Jen's student didn't arrive in time, and so she asked to work with me. Her hands helped me release a lot excess tension in my legs, and connect me a bit more from head to toe. I returned to the table soon, and then Carina worked with my shoulders and head, while first Ria and then David gave her a bit more up. What a great start into the day.

The turn with Bronwyn gave me the opportunity to experience a more consistent up in walking, although I had a hard time inhibiting my desire to feel out the ease I noticed. Without embodying ideas they literally cannot make sense, and a good amount of continuity and repetition is usually needed to achieve this.

Ann's anatomy class had some sad undertone, it was her last visit as regular anatomy teacher. We studied gait again, playing around with different ideas of bad use while walking. Entertaining and enlightening at the same time.

Unexpected

AT can teach to react adequately in any situation, much more than getting in and out of a chair, or releasing specific areas while laying in semi-supine. Our reactions are implicitly holistic - although we might only guess as to why a person blushes during a conversation, we can safely assume that the blush is more than a physical phenomenon.

I looked forward to a turn with Ann, but she didn't arrive in time for the quick-ease, and changed the order of turns a bit. I asked her about that, and she offered me a turn either in the break or after school. I reacted a lot when she told me about the change of plans, yet agreed on a later session.

I took me a while to direct my attention away from the change of plans, and towards observing some fellow students while cycling. I had a bit of a table turn with Ferry, so I didn't have to go 'turnless' into the group.

The anatomy session was like so often a mixture between dull facts, nice anecdotes and some group work deepening our topic, muscles of head-neck region. Our group gave examples of misuse while speaking, demonstrating poking the head out to make a point, gasping, and shyly talking towards the ground.

Having a turn after school went against my habits, and it was the first time it happened for me. Ann went with me to the back room, and we spend most time talking in a very insightful way. She reflected on my reactions earlier, and lots of lightbulbs went off in my head. Interactions are driven by intentions. If I manage to keep up my intention while just observing my reaction to emotional stimuli, a 'problematic' situation can have a positive outcome. Brooming emotions under the carpet, or riding blindly their waves just makes matters worse. Like so often, happiness lies in the golden middle.

Ann-atomy

The day started with a very revealing turn with Ann. She moved me around in a fun way, before she made me bounce with increasing ease on a gym ball. I spend the rest of the turn time with reading, getting aware of the different points of support while doing so.

Jen talked us through the nervous system, quite precisely presented yet getting very lengthy. The distractions from people talking didn't make it easier to stay focused. Stephen and Jim improvised about the respiratory system, and Kaz and Andrea walked us through the circulatory system.

Hearing about the pulsimory and systemic blood flows made my day - I enjoy getting a more detailed picture of intrisicate workings of our bodies.

Anatomy

Finally I managed to work productively on my speaking. Bronwyn didn't hesitate to point out the areas in my face with too much tension, and made me produce sounds on all fours. As gravity pulled my face down, I clearly noticed my pulling. However, although I liked this exploration I got under the influence of other stimuli.

The short time we spend on revising our description of the monkey paid out well. I surprised myself by reading somebody else's hand-writing fluently, and improvising two or three missing bits. Although we had our bit to present, anatomy makes me a bit immobile. Sitting for hours just receiving information requires lots of discipline, more than I can avail at the moment.

Mobbed

Sometimes, wishes come true. I didn't have too many turns with Ann, so I felt quite lucky that I had a chance today. I managed to increase a bit the awareness for the whole body, noticing my body from head to feet without zoning out. The turn helped me to maintain my up a bit more, yet in a way it helped increasing my confusion as well.

I made it to the coffee shop first, sitting in the empty front room, when Robert and Cal decided to rather sit in the back, leaving me alone. This brought up some unpleasant memories from the past, and the problems I have in dealing with conformity enforcement.

The anatomy session with Ann deepened my understanding of neural processes, although the mechanics tell only a part of the story of what happens in living systems. Yet we don't deal with the interactive part yet, or rather just in terms of movement. This means I have to find a way to observe the differences in me when trying to direct myself alone or in varying social situations. I wonder whether The Global Brain or Celestine Prophecies holds more clues concerning group phenomena that I could apply to my current situation.

Anatomy

I enjoyed another table turn today, this time with Ann. She managed to lengthen me a lot, and helped releasing heaps of tension build up by trying to prevent pain. She told me to let my body react to the pain, instead of bracing around it, and to my surprise I could walk quite nicely.

Bo gave me another table turn, and I realised that doing it quietly makes it more efficient. Either that, or directing before talking could work. We widened my back, before a double anatomy session kicked off.

Ann asked me to demonstrate my limping, yet I still managed to direct myself and could walk free of pain. I didn't want to mimic my morning state, but some people had seen me earlier anyway, so Ann showed how I isolated (and therefor disintegrated) the part in pain.

I still need to figure out where my diaphragm attached to the rips, I certainly have to change my idea of the location of my lungs. The breathing exercise in the deep monkey yielded no remarkable observation, but room for exploration.

Walking

I had a nice chat with Duncan during my turn, explaining the advances made by analysing my initially very faulty body map. We did hardly any chair work, and I spend the rest of the turn with CJ.

Anatomy gave a detailed walk through of gaits, specifying each phase by naming its effects on joints and muscles.

Anatomy

I had my turn with Duncan today, and we did some chair work. He still seems to try to impose his idea of challenging me, yet no conflict arose. I volunteered happily to get some table work from Anne, with really good results. I felt my shoulders and hips slowly melting softer while she had her hands on, a really pleasant experience.

I enjoyed Ann's anatomy sessions thoroughly, her relaxed yet knowledgeable style suits me well. I explored movement of the scapula with Ana, our new Brasilian student, and the movement of the prime movers together with Steven. Experiencing the involvement of large parts of the torso in any arm movements revealed some of my funny ideas about arms, and will help me integrating my limbs better.

Release the neck

My turn with Ferry felt good, his directions made it easy to observe myself during chair work. Anatomy with Jeremy wasn't as playful as usual, though we explored each others bodies by palpitating the head and chest.

I didn't really participate in the group work, instead I had a good table turn with Bo. I noticed the (hyper?) activity of my mind, and the change in bodily perception when I started directing myself more. Receiving specific directions helps me a lot to release extra tension, and getting back to the primary control prevented me from chasing pink elephants.

ShouldersI

I explored walking in my term with Duncan. I still have (at least) one area in my back where I shorten my torso, probably a remaining part of the pattern to pull the shoulders back. While doing lunges I noticed a similar pattern in that activity, and found a simple optical check for the state of my back.

We played a lot with bones in our anatomy session, I liked assembling clavicle, scapula and humerus together most. I had only a faint idea about the glenohumero joint, and seeing the hinge joint between humerus and ulnar proved fascinating as well.

In our group work we played with the monkey again. I discovered some variation that can give me an incredible amount of extra length, something worth playing more with.

Antigravity

Another day with two turns, yet with less revelations than yesterday. The first turn was with Duncan, and therefor more on the verbal side of things, which sometimes overstimulates me a bit. Nevertheless, this gives me the opportunity to exercise using directions as a background process, and I learned a bit more of the relation between my knees and back.

I worked with Ferry for the first time, and had to adjust to his firm hands. I plunged into the chair when I sat down, as I didn't use my hip joints properly, while he directed me by putting hands around my neck. When Libby started working on him while he worked on me it felt much lighter, and I responded much better to a more gentle approach. However, I could collect useful information while doing it "wrong", especially about releasing with verbal suggestion, which worked very well to increase the mobility of my arms.

We came back to ordering and directing in the group work with Libby. We started observing each other undirected, and I happily plunged and collapsed into the chair. The most amazing change happened (with me) when we tried to keep the directions during the movement. A simple "neck free" allowed me an easy getting in and out of the chair, and the other group members (and me) noticed some drastic difference between directed and unconscious movement.

The anatomy session with Anne covered unfamiliar territory, and I liked especially the idea of the antigravity reflex that can kick in once the neck is released. I went into a bit of disagreement about the kind of nerves for muscular control - I brought up intramuscular nerves in addition to those connected in a spinal reflex cycle and those ending in cortical motor area. I better research whether those exist (or not, as David and Anne insisted), as well as the concept of the antigravity reflex (or positive support reaction).

Twisted

I try my best to start school on time, which usually means that I have my turn in the first round, this time again with Jeremy. It went wilder than usual, as Jeremy twisted me around, leading me into some awkward positions. Doing this prevented me easily from anticipating his moves, and felt more like remote control.

I observed some sore sensation around the teres muscles, which might indicate an release in this area (or overuse during yesterdays Wing Chun session). The scapula can move a bit more around, something that I notice usually after some minutes of semi-supine.

The turn helped me in identifying the moving parts during walking, the slight rotation of the lumbar region, counteracted by swinging the contralateral arm, and slightly turning the head ipsilateral to the moving leg. Knowing which parts move where didn't lead straight away to a more natural gait, Jenny's directions to keep the thoracic region above the hip, keeping the hip as part of the back back worked a bit better.

As the lower part of the body feels a bit disconnected, I still start walking with my hips leading. We looked with David in the group closer at walking, and the relation of ankles, knees and hips. I noticed some subtle head movement while just thinking about moving the legs, and the temptation to regain the familiar feel of walking by throwing the shoulders back and shifting the hips forward. Straight walking feels at the moment a lot like falling, so I better focus on my directions while walking and ignore the faulty sensory appreciation for a while.

The anatomy session dealt with the scientific terms for directions and joint types. Jeremy played little games to deepen our understanding and use of this terms, which made the session really enjoyable. I realised that my idea of the location of the heart had nothing to do with its actual position... luckily we don't need to direct our hearts.

Anatomy

I still struggle with some of the names, but it seems to get better any day. (Thats easy to say after two days). I spend about half an hour in semi supine, which more and more appears to be an amazing tool to regain awareness of the body.

Jeremy took the turn on me today, and showed me an astonishing way to get out of a slump without doing anything about it. Releasing the neck and rocking slightly back and forth did the trick, with no attention to the shoulders at all. Maria had 5 minutes to put her hands on me before that, and Kaz tried to get me on the tips of my feet.

The activity session with Libby was about sleeping, a very important activity. It surprised me how different bodies look like while basically doing the same, ie lying on the side ready to sleep. However, using pillows for the support of the upper arm, the belly and between the legs improves the length of the spine and produces easily the sensation of more comfort.

The anatomy session with Jeremy constituted the most formal part, and like the reading part requires us to do homework. I still need another book to do my homework, yet I might check the Uni library and make some copies, in case the book won't arrive soon in the school. The body has only a finite number of components like bones, tendons, ligaments, organs and muscles, yet I don't know too much about the interactions and the locations that apply.

I really enjoy being the object of hand work of the second years - Will, Kaz and Maria had a go so far. I realise more and more the pervasiveness of Alexander's approach. However, I noticed the similarity to Gurdjieff's, Feldenkrais and Crowley's constant reminder to introspection. The things I learn feed my desire for something new and useful, yet it grows with everything new.