Surprise

I had a great turn with Jane, who gave me the opportunity to put hand on her. By doing less, I managed to get her easily in and out of the chair, although I had to inhibit my surprise over the ways we were moving. All that ease remains hard to grasp, yet I could clearly notice the change in thinking when working with her.

Before I had a chance to catch with the reading for today, David asked me to give Jeanine a table turn. She's looking for a school to become AT teacher, a graduated contact juggler and circus skill teacher expanding her toolkit. I managed to lengthen her a bit on the table, and her rotary cuffs released a bit, yet her use looks impressive already, and her observation skills stunned me as well.

I had little clue about her background while working with her, when she had a look at my CJing she came up straight away with real useful tips and observations.

So much I'd like to write more, my computer reacts currently much slower than a serially connected real VT100 terminal. So kann ich net arbeite! Time to order new hardware, before the wait drives me mad.

A restart alleviated the tardy behaviour, yet the order is out, in a day or two I have my new hardware. I hope the increased working speed will allow me to balance my screen work with building more tensegrity models. Rossi asked me whether she could buy one of the models from my workshop. I think I will raise the prize from today's offer to a coffee with company, it's still a fair deal.

Tensegrity

David offered me the opportunity to do my tensegrity workshop during our school's residential. This meant that my car was heavily loaded with plenty of light objects, sensory overload by having a variety of models was part of my plan.

I got so much used to have tensegrity models in my lounge that I nearly forgot the awe they inspire quite often on first sight. Martin hardly couldn't keep his hands off them while driving to Maitripa, and I knew that the strategy of using them as attention grabber would make the presentation part much easier.

I arranged plenty of the smaller and simpler models on the table next to the stage area, the tower and the larger sphere standing next to me. The mind map I made half a year ago laid on a table close by as well, yet I think I used it only a couple of times.



I wasn't tempted to rehearse the presentation, yet I took the chance to work in front of the group with Michael Shellshear on my nervousness about it. He helped me defining a clear goal, and suggested to have a clear beginning, middle part and end for the presentation. Finding a SMART goal wasn't easy, tensegrity offers so many ideas and connections to the work, and of course, eagerly end-gaining as I can be, I wanted to put a lot information into the workshop.

My idea was it to give the participants a more embodied understanding of tensegrity, and to learn more about the qualities of such systems in general. Yet Michael steered me into finding a single quality as focus - bounciness. I'm pretty sure he set some anchors when working with me, although I couldn't consciously describe them.



I started off with a short explanation of the origin of the term, letting my admiration for Buckminster Fuller shining through. I used the metaphor 'island of compression in a sea of tension' to describe the discontinuity of compression (we're no stack of bricks, although some people's thinking is sometimes as flexible as one).

I used to model with a similar structure, but with different tension material (rubber, ie very flexible and nylon ie very tense) to give the participants the first opportunity to play. The models nicely demonstrate expansion and contraction in all dimensions, and squeezing and pulling made the difference in mobility depending on the pretension level (golgi, I hear ya calling) obvious.

I felt quite calm and collected, the adrenaline didn't throw me off but kept me moving confidently. Before I could lose the interest of my audience by the technicalities of the minimal tensegrity system (tensul), making pauses in the verbal part allowed questions, so I could navigate along the mindmap in response to my audience.

The fun started for me when I explained the teamwork task, the 'middle' part of the workshop. I demonstrated the total collapse of a tensul from a box shape into a hodge podge of strings and sticks, and asked the participants to do the same with the models I handed them before.

I had no idea how long it would take the groups to get the models back together, I still consider even a tensul quite a challenging 3d puzzle. I could kick back a bit, observe the attempts of rebuilding with plenty of space to offer help and answer questions. The first team to succeed were Rossi and Jenny, proudly claiming to have won this friendly 'competition'. Yet, instead of simply bragging about this victory they continued to explore kinestically their little toys, while the other teams by and by caught up.

In the two presentations I held no team failed in the end, although some needed to start over a couple of times (you can connect the materials I gave them to a boxy shape which isn't a real tensul). The task kept the participants engaged and interested, and the success yielded many smiles of accomplishment.

This made it easy to get to end part of the workshop. Playing with the tensuls brought up some questions, and offered me the chance to relate the tensegrity idea to anatomy and AT work. Well, I might have stressed the similarities I suspect a bit more, but I guess I will do this workshop again. The questions were interesting, and especially the demonstrations with the shroom-tower model seems to work very well.

I took Carina's suggestion to ask everyone for a single bit they learned in that workshop, and noticed that I achieved my goal - transforming the term 'tensegrity' from a learned-sounding expression to a more lively concept.

However, in retrospect areas for improvement become more apparent. Bounciness, the initial goal, was left out a bit. I realised at home that some of models can be thrown around quite a bit without falling apart, I might use a sphere model for some contact juggling like acts, with some deliberate drops to show the bounce. Now I need to find a good backdrop to shoot some videos of models in movement (the hall I held the workshop with its beautiful Buddha statue would have been ace for that).

Luckily Ana took the photos you can see here, pictures can often tell so much more than words.

After the intensive

The spirit of the improvised intensive didn't prevail until today. It took me some time to get into my body in my turn with Jane, still sweaty from the ride to school. We had a short debrief about the residential, with some very mixed feedback. The circumstances certainly tainted a bit the experience, but the fires left only short time to reorganise.

The group work unveiled my impatience. I got a bit upset with Stephen for my perceived lack of cooperation. It seems that my frustration threshold is pretty low at the moment, and I need to observe my reactions to emotional shifts a bit better. The topic shifted from hands-on to monkey, you can never enough monkey around.

I worked with Rossi in Lailani's group. Lailani's feedback made the hands-on session really valuable, doing less becomes easier. Or does the ease come with doing less? Anyway, using my hands seems the best way to stay directed, and motivated.

Last day

Matt took care of turns and teaching, as only Sharon, Stephen, Rossi, Ana and me came to school. I had a table turn with Matt, and noticed how I lost my directions often when talking. Sharon and I worked on monkeys, with some amazing results. With my hands on the back of the chair, I managed to straighten out my thoracic spine, and Sharon mentioned that I got taller in the process.

We explored then the relation between eye and head movement. I got aware of the different approaches to moving/turning right and left, and that I haven't done any vision work lately.

Anatomy,

I discovered the connection between my shoulders and my knees during the turn with Ria. My attention slowly encompasses more and more of my body, yet I still need a lot of verbalized directions.

I did a bit of CJ, and happily joined a group during turn time working with David. I changed the way I put hands on, my arms move more freely and I tend less to fall into the body I'm touching.

Anatomy brought some surprising insights into group dynamics. We needed some time to agree what the task consisted of, yet got something together in the end. Rossi noticed my old pattern, although weaker than last year.

We described primary control, monkey and hands on the back of a chair in anatomical terms, revisiting our presentation the next week.

Another bllnd day

I had another turn with David today, and I get the impression that I stay directed during chair work, at least to a certain degree. Inhibition works better, when you notice what you do additionally.

I played a bit hands-on with Rossi, with Margaret helping. The rest of the day went passed with counselling and communication, when I got reminded of two bits of homework I still have to deliver. Hmpf.

Jaw dropping

I continued my vision experiments today, I feel less intimidated by seeing less now than when I started. I had a turn with Jane, who worked Nili-style, which gave me good information. David's hands felt much more subtle, nevertheless with lots of direction.

We had a premature book session, so I had to master the challenge of doing my reading as well as proof reading Rossi's homework with pinhole glasses. We did the reading session in the large group, recapitulating the way Alexander discovered his method of re-learning.

We did bits of hands-on work in the group with Margaret, and I seem to have different habits with and without lenses - or rather, I fell back into my habit of falling into my students.

Tired

The combination of reading news in the morning and some grey and rainy weather made me quite ill tempered. Jenny gave me table turn, and while lengthening my body she gave me interesting ideas about watching my reactions to adverse opinions that I might encounter as a teacher.

In David's small group we went back to the basics, picking up a book from the floor and monkeys behind a chair. It felt much easier than before, and Rossi and I used the opportunity to observe Ana, our newest student.

Jenny challenged us a bit more, pairing us up to detect movement and holding in our partner. First we took each others arm to swing it around, keeping directed and free in our necks while tensing some other parts of our bodies. Then, while sitting opposite to each other, we gave both arms away to play with it.

I get closer not only to understand how the arms work, but also to use them more in the way they are attached to the body. However, staying perceptive for my use and someone else's simultaneously requires a lot, but only practise can improve my awareness.

Singing

The idea of singing on this performance day made me a bit apprehensive. Although I felt quite good and thought to have understood the idea of releasing into the teachers hands yesterday, I was relatively stiff when I had my turn with Jenny.

It took me until the performance session, which started around 12 to notice that a lot of today's holding came from this apprehension to perform in public, and although our group had only four members (Tristan, Jose, Rossi and me), I felt really nervous.

Jenny managed to free me up a lot before I even started. I directed myself as good as I could, but still in my breath overly in preparation for my performance. Like Jose, I pulled my head back and stiffened my legs, and now I still feel a bit sore on the outside of the top of the femur, where I pulled my legs together.

But after I got into singing, while Jenny worked with me, I could let go of the tension and surprised myself with the sounds that appeared. I wonder whether I should keep with Hans Albers for the performance, or rather choose another song. However, I learned much more by trying to sing than by reciting. It nails down to a pattern of nervousness due to standing in front of others and perform, another good bit to work on.

Reverse monkey

My day started with a slight hangover, a bit of a cold, tense muscles spiced up with some self-pityness. I fostered this combination while in semi-supine before I had a turn with Jenny. Although I didn't anticipate my situation to get better, the turn brought me back into a more balanced state. As soon as I stopped trying hard, and feeling bad about the misuse during the weekend, release happened and got me more aware again.

As only half of the students came in today, I had a second turn with Ria, exploring the range of motion of my arms. The yoga session felt intense, although I already forgot how we started it. Doing the dog again drained a lot of energy, yet doing it properly brought some good stretching. We ended the yoga session with a reverse monkey, walking up the wall while supporting the body weight with the hands.

I slowly begin to understand the monkey now, and it certainly works better with intention than micromanaged on joint level. The final group session lasted only half an hour, and while waiting for the Pilates session with Heidi I tried to teach juggling to Ria and Rossi.

The pilates exercises challenged me a lot, although we did them in a slow pace. We started with raising awareness for our breathing, as most exercises synchronise breathing and movement. As all of us lack core strength, Heidi chose exercises involving the pelvic floor. Pilates challenges me more than expected, yet I like it. I will try to find some description on the web of what we did to do a little homework.

Hands on

Having just six people on Fridays feels good, especially as half of us went swimming together yesterday. Matt came into the school for teaching, and I had my turn with him. We did the sitting on a chair routine. I realise that I lost "contact to the ground" with my legs. Bracing them prevents me feeling the upward direction from the ground.

The effect of releasing my hip joints in the water continued until today. I get more a sense of the additive character of directions, although the three primary keep me already occupied. Today even Rossi and I started putting our hands on.

I understand the importance of the teacher's coordination better now. When I had my hands on Cal's head, she could sense the release of my neck through my hands. My sensitivity certainly has to increase, which most likely happen as a side effect of maintaining coordination.

Foreign Students

Only foreign students come into the school on Fridays, and Robert, who misses some classes during the week because of work. After yesterdays busy day a small group of people worked together. I had my turn with Jenny with amazing results. The final spin gave me an elated feeling, which I could hardly keep in semi supine.

Rossi and I were willing bodies for the handwork of Cal, Bo, Jose and Robert, and we did a lot of monkeys. I started noticing more how the teachers and beginning teachers use their bodies. I tried applying monkeys to teeth brushing and dish washing, a valuable exercise as I need it heaps when working with others.

The work unveils layers of habits, blows them open and sometimes away. The total immersion yields noticeable progress, and this already after four days in a row. I remember the idea to soak in knowledge like a sponge. But body and mind soak in at the same time, and rigidity on either aspect of the self limit the potential.

Psycho-physical unity releases energies which still confuse me. I feel a continuity with the worryless careful attitude of the summer of 94. Weird.

The first day

It felt a bit like the first day in school, although I've been through the experience of beginning a new chapter of my life quite often. Michael and Rossi seemed more nervous than me, but I didn't hesitate when David asked me to do the first round of 'observed walking'. The teachers took their turns at the as well, and criticising each other to the amusement of all.

As group work we picked up a book while sitting, and used the monkey to pick up a book from the chair. Kaz gave me a bit of table work in the morning, my shoulder need a lot more calibration, and David made me aware about the tendency to put the head back in the last moments of sitting.

On the table and during semi supine I used different heights for the books under my head. I should find some decent height tomorrow morning, and check whether I can connect the names and faces tomorrow. And I could start working on my homework after the class, applying control while doing so.

After losing control deliberately to a certain extend over the weekend, I'm curious about the effect of four days in a row of school. Basically, I can imagine some advances, but this will certainly require a bit of sleep.