It looks the intense start into my fourth term swept the ground under my feet away.... yet not through an immense up, rather by returning to old hazardous habits. Today's turn with Ria helped quite a bit getting back into presence.
I felt quite heavy when singing, the I couldn't integrate direction, new lyrics, a changed audience and the stimulus of performing itself into something coherent. I think I know now what I miss: Decent communication about mental habits that we discover on our path. I noticed that 'parking' my body while attending something produces heaps of thoughts, dragging me into the limbic system and down.
'You need courage to maintain the up constantly, it's a bit like being naked'. I agree absolutely with Nili, yet I don't know yet how to gain that courage.
Showing posts with label singing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singing. Show all posts
Thursday, October 23
Thursday, September 11
Tongue
David used his waiting time to give me and Michael some chance for hands-on exercises, before I started exploring the difference in perception of movement when I 'did' my directions in contrast to just think them. I wonder whether it helps the process to communicate the increase in precision of proprioception exactly, something to ask a teacher.
We made loud noises again, after exploring the relation between breathing and the movement of the tailbone. Our body moves a lot in any given moment, which makes integrating the relevant information into a connected image a challenging task.
I started the performance session off, and felt significantly less nervous when doing so. I went smoothly through the first half, and then became self-conscious again, or rather lost my intention a bit. Penny reminded me of the bad habit to do more than needed with my tongue. Allowing it to stay in the front of my mouth stopped me from swallowing tunes at the end of a phrase, and certainly increased my fun while doing it.
We made loud noises again, after exploring the relation between breathing and the movement of the tailbone. Our body moves a lot in any given moment, which makes integrating the relevant information into a connected image a challenging task.
I started the performance session off, and felt significantly less nervous when doing so. I went smoothly through the first half, and then became self-conscious again, or rather lost my intention a bit. Penny reminded me of the bad habit to do more than needed with my tongue. Allowing it to stay in the front of my mouth stopped me from swallowing tunes at the end of a phrase, and certainly increased my fun while doing it.
Thursday, September 4
Singing
I worked on using my injured foot better with Penny, but I still don't feel comfortable standing for longer times. I want to play a bit with Penny's idea about the 'neutral position' for the tongue, as I noticed that I do a lot with it without being aware of it.
I see more and more the use of our voice warm-ups, it's a good chance to create feedback through sound. Kaz reminded me of the difference between speaking and singing, I still move my head (in a down way) while talking.
I see more and more the use of our voice warm-ups, it's a good chance to create feedback through sound. Kaz reminded me of the difference between speaking and singing, I still move my head (in a down way) while talking.
Thursday, August 28
Rapid change
I dared to do more standing and walking during my turn with Penny, and noticed how much my pain avoidance has affected other parts of my body. On the positive side, this injury helps me experiencing the patterns arising from a 'single cause'.
Before we warmed our voices up with some singing, I played a lot with my CJ ball. I like singing in a group more than solo, yet it's getting better. With an internal smile and a distracting idea for the audience my voice gained more resonance, and I stayed in a good rhythm.
Before we warmed our voices up with some singing, I played a lot with my CJ ball. I like singing in a group more than solo, yet it's getting better. With an internal smile and a distracting idea for the audience my voice gained more resonance, and I stayed in a good rhythm.
Thursday, August 7
Trying hard
I had a turn with Julia, and although I still haven't understood her concept of forward and up, she manages to lengthen me a lot. I become more aware of the subtle complexity of pattern within the body, and thus more efficient in using directions.
My performance in the singing sessions fluctuates a lot. I improved in comparison to last week, but Jenny needed to do a lot to stop me from holding and other useless patterns. It helps me a lot to play a soundtrack in my mind while singing, I just need a better control of the volume level.
My performance in the singing sessions fluctuates a lot. I improved in comparison to last week, but Jenny needed to do a lot to stop me from holding and other useless patterns. It helps me a lot to play a soundtrack in my mind while singing, I just need a better control of the volume level.
Thursday, May 15
More CJ
Penny enjoyed having a turn while I tried balancing my CJ ball, and gave me great feedback how I can proceed. The day turned a bit less playful with some more explorations of voice production, although I encountered new areas of investigation.
The performance situation still poses the biggest obstacle to some decent singing performance. However, I start enjoying it much more than I thought possible, and until the end of the term something will emerge.
The performance situation still poses the biggest obstacle to some decent singing performance. However, I start enjoying it much more than I thought possible, and until the end of the term something will emerge.
Thursday, April 17
Performance
I decided to have a fix me table session on my turn with Jane, the real work started in a short turn with Jenny. I felt quite fixed in my neck, and we played more with talking than anything else. I tend to press my tongue down (at least while singing), which might cause the tension between my shoulder blades.
We used our hands to sense each other breathing as group work, and later extended this to our jaws. The overuse of my tongue might provide the key to unlock some useless patterns.
We used our hands to sense each other breathing as group work, and later extended this to our jaws. The overuse of my tongue might provide the key to unlock some useless patterns.
Thursday, March 20
Brazil
My turn with Penny had some surprising elements, yet she manages to have similar "watery" qualities in her hands even outside the pool. I get further and further away from my idea of standing when doing chair work. I felt quite light after the turn, and enjoyed it while walking around.
We worked a lot with whispered and sounded "aaah", something I neglected a bit myself. Having hands on while Stephen and Jenny did this offered new insights - while I can notice holding easily, doing this activity directed just produces a decent muscular tone and allows the vibrations of sound travel to the back of the body.
While singing about old Brazil I realised the amount of tension I hold around the jaw, I still need to mentally integrate the jaw into the neck. I achieved the best results while dancing with Penny, sometimes an overload of stimuli helps doing less.
We worked a lot with whispered and sounded "aaah", something I neglected a bit myself. Having hands on while Stephen and Jenny did this offered new insights - while I can notice holding easily, doing this activity directed just produces a decent muscular tone and allows the vibrations of sound travel to the back of the body.
While singing about old Brazil I realised the amount of tension I hold around the jaw, I still need to mentally integrate the jaw into the neck. I achieved the best results while dancing with Penny, sometimes an overload of stimuli helps doing less.
Thursday, March 6
Ease
Working with Jane turned out to be fun, and she managed to give me a lot information while working on the chair. I tried to inhibit my head back, shoulder up pattern while speaking, and noticed the preparatory actions before I was speaking. I'm less confused by non-local effects any more, but rather cherish the opportunity to recalibrate my proprioception.
On the table Jane and I managed significant release of the shoulders, knowing more about the structure of this area helps a lot. I still need to develop a decent sensation of width throughout my trunk in a lengthened state.
Anne worked with me straight after Jane, and surprised me a bit when she asked to have an AID AT T-shirt. I might have found a first ally to use more of the internet.
Singing gets a bit easier, I manage my level of apprehension better. I chose a different song, and Cal noticed the different pattern between speaking and singing with me. Jenny needed less extreme movements to keep me on track, and glimpsed my self during the performance.
On the table Jane and I managed significant release of the shoulders, knowing more about the structure of this area helps a lot. I still need to develop a decent sensation of width throughout my trunk in a lengthened state.
Anne worked with me straight after Jane, and surprised me a bit when she asked to have an AID AT T-shirt. I might have found a first ally to use more of the internet.
Singing gets a bit easier, I manage my level of apprehension better. I chose a different song, and Cal noticed the different pattern between speaking and singing with me. Jenny needed less extreme movements to keep me on track, and glimpsed my self during the performance.
Thursday, February 28
Old pattern
During my turn with Jenny we worked on the activities sitting and standing. I still do some (useless) things to satisfy my concept of standing, instead of keeping my directions in activity. This reminds me of Duncan's comment about difficult (or hard) things while talked about the limits of attention. We have to deal with a high level of stimuli. Each stimulus potentially triggers a response, yet not like behaviourists assume, a definite and predictable one, more like an avalanche.
We notice the result of the avalanche as holding pattern, we might not know the path it took or which other avalanches might have triggered this one. Undoing one part of wrong doing often fits into a larger pattern of the same misconception, and some parts might resist undoing longer than other. Like with any other field of interest, more time spend in observation enables appreciation and awareness of detail.
The separation and mind and body, Descartes error, exists only as meme. Learning how efficiently the nervous systems uses the body helps undoing useless modes of thinking. The experience of mind-body unity and of the connection of two nervous systems challenges quite some scientific believes.
Introspection opens the gate to consciousness. Consciousness can then connect and communicate. So much for the idea, as I did not connect too well today. My emotional system sends irritating signals, the next system that needs further introspection and understanding.
Group work consisted of further observation of saying ah while lying done. Different breathing and holding pattern emerged. The performance showed an interesting dynamic. Obviously, not only me feels uncomfortable with the idea to sing in front of the others. I have to find out whether stating the obvious helped or harmed.
We notice the result of the avalanche as holding pattern, we might not know the path it took or which other avalanches might have triggered this one. Undoing one part of wrong doing often fits into a larger pattern of the same misconception, and some parts might resist undoing longer than other. Like with any other field of interest, more time spend in observation enables appreciation and awareness of detail.
The separation and mind and body, Descartes error, exists only as meme. Learning how efficiently the nervous systems uses the body helps undoing useless modes of thinking. The experience of mind-body unity and of the connection of two nervous systems challenges quite some scientific believes.
Introspection opens the gate to consciousness. Consciousness can then connect and communicate. So much for the idea, as I did not connect too well today. My emotional system sends irritating signals, the next system that needs further introspection and understanding.
Group work consisted of further observation of saying ah while lying done. Different breathing and holding pattern emerged. The performance showed an interesting dynamic. Obviously, not only me feels uncomfortable with the idea to sing in front of the others. I have to find out whether stating the obvious helped or harmed.
Thursday, February 21
Singing
The idea of singing on this performance day made me a bit apprehensive. Although I felt quite good and thought to have understood the idea of releasing into the teachers hands yesterday, I was relatively stiff when I had my turn with Jenny.
It took me until the performance session, which started around 12 to notice that a lot of today's holding came from this apprehension to perform in public, and although our group had only four members (Tristan, Jose, Rossi and me), I felt really nervous.
Jenny managed to free me up a lot before I even started. I directed myself as good as I could, but still in my breath overly in preparation for my performance. Like Jose, I pulled my head back and stiffened my legs, and now I still feel a bit sore on the outside of the top of the femur, where I pulled my legs together.
But after I got into singing, while Jenny worked with me, I could let go of the tension and surprised myself with the sounds that appeared. I wonder whether I should keep with Hans Albers for the performance, or rather choose another song. However, I learned much more by trying to sing than by reciting. It nails down to a pattern of nervousness due to standing in front of others and perform, another good bit to work on.
It took me until the performance session, which started around 12 to notice that a lot of today's holding came from this apprehension to perform in public, and although our group had only four members (Tristan, Jose, Rossi and me), I felt really nervous.
Jenny managed to free me up a lot before I even started. I directed myself as good as I could, but still in my breath overly in preparation for my performance. Like Jose, I pulled my head back and stiffened my legs, and now I still feel a bit sore on the outside of the top of the femur, where I pulled my legs together.
But after I got into singing, while Jenny worked with me, I could let go of the tension and surprised myself with the sounds that appeared. I wonder whether I should keep with Hans Albers for the performance, or rather choose another song. However, I learned much more by trying to sing than by reciting. It nails down to a pattern of nervousness due to standing in front of others and perform, another good bit to work on.
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