Yoga

I had the first turn with Matt in this term, and it provided me with some useful information. Getting in and out of the chair went smoothly, especially as we started off gaining a lot of length before considering movement. I didn't really maintain too much of the freedom of movement while preparing the reading for tomorrow.

We experimented with breathing and rip movement in the group with Ria. I get better in distinguishing physical pattern, and get more of an idea of unrestricted movement.

I manage better to stop endgaining during yoga, and get back to the idea that asanas can help exploring subtle movements and flexibility.

Tired tire

I managed to come late to school because one of the tires I just bought yesterday went flat overnight. The turn with Julia did not wake me up, but left me quite elated after doing a bit of table work, chair work and monkeys. While I used the ease to sit down and read, David picked me for another turn.

During Jenny's groupwork we went on all four, trying to maintain our backs while moving around. I still hardly notice whether my limbs are underneath my joints, which offers a good choice for exploration.

We did some games after the tea break, and finished with hands-on partnerwork. I partnered up with Cal, and realised again the amount of stimulus another body provides. I managed to inhibit a lot while Jenny supervised us, it made me a bit more nervous when Ineke and Julia took over. I certainly need some intention when I put my hands on, otherwise I get drawn into the person, get into quantum zero state or simply wiggle my arms around too much.

Directions

Each teacher has an ideosyncratic style, and obviously I consider some more efficient than others. The turn with Penny yielded some amazing results, she uses the entire body and her enjoyment of the work infected me easily. Feeling already easy made it difficult to achieve more results in the second turn with Julia, which was the first time we worked together at all.

Penny avoids the term inhibition as best as possible, instead she tries to convey new experiences, and her hands do an amazing job. The group work focussed again on the whisperped aaah, this time in standing and with exploring hands. I tried to use the palm first approach to connect to my fellow students, and certainly feel the need to make my hands more sensitive. However, I noticed significant differences between Kate, Ana, Rossi and Michael. I'm less drawn into bodies, and manage it better to stay in my body while observing with my hands.

The warm up for the performance consisted of singing again, and I didn't feel any apprehension in the choir setup we used. Performing myself offered some amazing revelation: Constant directing expanded my voice throughout the entire body. I thought that directing immediately before I start to sing would be sufficient, yet I need to renew the directions quite often during the performance. Although I had my difficulties doing so, the results stunned me and were quite obvious for the audience.

Pregnancy

I had the first turn in this term with Libby, after playing around yesterday in the group work, and she helped me a lot in getting a sensation of width across shoulders. I knew for a longer time that I did some extra work with my shoulders, but I couldn't really pinpoint what. I thought about moving them back or forward, while in fact I narrowed them across my back. When I notice now the familiar uncomfortable twitching on the inside of my scapula, directing width of my shoulders offers the release (and probably the neutral position) I need.

Ferry took up most of the time of our group work where we tried to work on typing, a very common activity for me. However, the observations helped a bit in understanding some important aspects of it, yet I certainly use setups at home which foster bad use.

Instead of a second Julia gave a presentation about pregnancy, and how the technique can help women in this situation and during giving birth.

Hands on

The turn with Margaret really straightened me, and took away a lot of tiredness. I happily volunteered to be Anne's body for some chair and table work. She likes my precise feedback, and I like her hands that convey her good use quite easily to me.

The book session offered not too many new insights, another chapter of lengthy sentences, yet some interesting detailed description how ideas can manifest in use.

We did some playful exploration with our hands with Libby. We started off with sensitizing ours hands by blindly touching unknown objects, and continued to explore bodies, again, with eyes closed. I liked both parts of it, reading Kate's body and relaxing in her hands, without any Alexander seriousness in it. Finally Libby taught us the Vivien Mackay approach to use our hands: fingers long, palm wide and toned, molding them onto a body. Awesome experience.

Riding

This morning started differently: instead of turning up early, like usual, I dealt with some bureaucratic affairs and came in just in time for some group work. Marigold had one of her rare visits in school, and used her fantastic hands to sit us straight on a saddle. Although it didn't produce the massive change like it did the first time, my bum relaxed a lot after a session in the saddle.

I had a turn with her just before the yoga session, which started with some inexplicable apprehension on my side. However, this changed soon and I managed to experience some new kind of free movement during chair work. She reminded me of things I should know by now, like where our eyes project information and generate images, yet I certainly needed that reminder again.

The yoga session went by without any real revelations, besides the fact that I manage to reduce end-gaining more and more while doing yoga. I certainly had some good stretches, and used less effort.

Tired

The combination of reading news in the morning and some grey and rainy weather made me quite ill tempered. Jenny gave me table turn, and while lengthening my body she gave me interesting ideas about watching my reactions to adverse opinions that I might encounter as a teacher.

In David's small group we went back to the basics, picking up a book from the floor and monkeys behind a chair. It felt much easier than before, and Rossi and I used the opportunity to observe Ana, our newest student.

Jenny challenged us a bit more, pairing us up to detect movement and holding in our partner. First we took each others arm to swing it around, keeping directed and free in our necks while tensing some other parts of our bodies. Then, while sitting opposite to each other, we gave both arms away to play with it.

I get closer not only to understand how the arms work, but also to use them more in the way they are attached to the body. However, staying perceptive for my use and someone else's simultaneously requires a lot, but only practise can improve my awareness.

Performance

I didn't manage to find out how far I managed to improve my use during the turn with David, yet I noticed some of my tendencies/new habits while doing chair work. I guess it's about time to return to meditation, something that helped me to increase my proprioception.

In Jenny's group work we played with the whispered ahhh while lying down. Head movements become much more noticeable, and looking up to the ceiling gave the illusion of privacy.

I liked singing "She brings the rain", though I felt quite nervous during the first attempt. I'm not too sure whether the nervousness caused my gasping before singing, yet directing instead of focussing on not-gasping improved the performance significantly.

Anatomy

I had my turn with Duncan today, and we did some chair work. He still seems to try to impose his idea of challenging me, yet no conflict arose. I volunteered happily to get some table work from Anne, with really good results. I felt my shoulders and hips slowly melting softer while she had her hands on, a really pleasant experience.

I enjoyed Ann's anatomy sessions thoroughly, her relaxed yet knowledgeable style suits me well. I explored movement of the scapula with Ana, our new Brasilian student, and the movement of the prime movers together with Steven. Experiencing the involvement of large parts of the torso in any arm movements revealed some of my funny ideas about arms, and will help me integrating my limbs better.

Reading

I had a kind of fix me table turn with Margaret, which worked out really well. Feeling still quite jetlagged, it helped me to stay in my body, with a reduced amount of stimuli interfering. It looks like the process of unravelling my bodily habits looped back to my shoulders, after noticing the extra effort in my ankles, knees and hips.

We dealt with the worry habit during the reading session, yet not really in a satisfying matter. Although most teachers encounter apprehension, worries and anxieties at some point with their students, FM Alexander offered only an approach resembling cognitive therapy. Fortunately Alexander teachers use their hands as well, which allows them to give their students new (psychophysical) experiences instead of analysing causes to death.

In Jenny's group we tried to use the monkey to find out about our own worries, which failed me a bit, mainly because the jetlag diverted most of my attention.

Coming back

The first day at school was really busy, some new faces as well as some "returners" came in. I worked with Lailani, and get closer to understand the shoulder girdle a bit better. I still have difficulties to mentally integrate arms and legs into the torso, even though obviously lots of muscle groups in the back do the actual movements.

During the group work we tried to deepen the understanding of arm movement, and how much it can in the way of proper breathing. I felt quite tired after a weekend of travelling back from Germany, although I enjoyed observing myself in that unusual situation.